I Dated A High Maintenance Guy And I Loved It

Women often get a bad rap for being high maintenance, but the tables were turned for me when I met a guy who was had this exact quality. I thought it would make our relationship pretty much impossible and that I wouldn’t be able to cope. However, instead of putting me off, it actually impressed me. Here are 11 reasons why.

  1. It showed me he cared about himself. If a guy doesn’t have standards, it says a lot about him, mainly that he doesn’t really love himself. This guy had high standards, which translated into a positive boyfriend trait, as weird as that sounds.
  2. He knew what he wanted. He knew EXACTLY what he was looking for in a girlfriend and relationship and he wasn’t going to back down to get it. I really admired that! I’d met so many guys who were floating around the dating scene not really sure of what they wanted and other guys who were so lazy when it came to relationships, so this was super-refreshing.
  3. Previous heartbreak had made him stronger. He had used his previous breakups and relationship failures to make him stronger and to give him higher standards. For example, because he’d previously dated a toxic woman, he knew spotted the signs that someone was unhealthy for him right away and it made him prevent future hurt for himself. I love a guy who learns from his past.
  4. He respected my standards. Because he had such high standards and lots of self-love, he respected my standards and boundaries. So, when I told him I couldn’t get with a guy who smoked, did drugs, or who didn’t text me often, he didn’t laugh or call me “too intense.” He respected that I knew what I wanted.
  5. He got to work. Having high standards and firm boundaries not only made him know what he wanted out of a relationship, but it also made him work harder to match his own standards. For example, if he wanted a partner who gave him support, he knew that he’d have to be a supportive partner in return. That’s the great thing about relationship standards: they make both people better.
  6. He made me step up. Instead of being intimidated by him having such high standards, it made me want to be better both for myself and for the relationship we were starting. His standards had a good effect on me and it was awesome being with such a like-minded person. His sky-high standards might’ve slapped him with a “high maintenance” label in the past by other girlfriends, but I thought they were a good thing.
  7. He took pride in his appearance. He used a lot of hair gel, sure, and he always looked runway-ready whenever he left the house. So what? That was actually a good thing! It showed me that he cared about his appearance and wanted to make an effort on our dates. I didn’t feel threatened that he spent longer in the bathroom than me. I thought it was cool. At least I didn’t have to listen to him moan about how long I was taking to do my makeup.
  8. He liked being pampered. One of the signs of a high-maintenance guy is someone who likes lots of TLC. Um, what’s wrong with that? This guy and I would retreat to spas for luxury body treatments, which were such a cool date idea. Plus, I liked that he treated himself gently and only wanted the best food, skincare products, and holiday destinations. Being pampered wasn’t about him wanting to get spoiled; it was about him taking care of his mind, body, and spirit.
  9. He didn’t bring the drama. It’s sometimes a misconception that a high-maintenance guy will be all about the drama. This guy wasn’t like that at all. Sure, he liked having some stuff go his way, but he just had expensive tastes and high standards, nothing dodgy. He didn’t lose his cool or throw toddler tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted. He wasn’t a man-child.
  10. He was anal about texting. The guy wanted to text daily and he got a little annoyed when his texts/calls went unanswered. Yeah, to some women that might come across as “too intense,” but it was a dream come true for me because I also have high texting standards. I want daily contact with the person I’m dating and I’m not into playing games, such as by being hard to get via text if I like the person. More than him being high maintenance, this trait showed me that we had the same texting behavior, which really worked. And, of course, it helped that he wasn’t the type to be controlling even though he had texting preferences.
  11. He didn’t like camping. I’ve never been big on camping, and this guy felt the same. It wrongfully got him teased by his male friends, who thought he wasn’t man enough, but I thought that was total bullshit. He just didn’t like getting dirty and he didn’t like not having a warm shower. Hello! We were made for each other!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.