I’d been with my boyfriend about a year and a half when he started acting weird. Call it women’s intuition, but I just felt like something wasn’t right and that he was either having an affair or thinking about it. And even though I’m generally a big fan of respecting people’s privacy, I decided to check my boyfriend’s phone to see what he was up to. Turns out, he actually was talking to other girls… but they weren’t really talking back.
- He was a little too obsessed with his phone. Pretty much everyone is on their phone 24/7 and I’m no different. Between checking my social media, playing Candy Crush (yes, it’s still a thing), and looking up random stuff on Google, I’m always randomly scrolling. However, my boyfriend was taking his technology addiction to new heights. It was like he was glued to the thing to the point that it was impossible to pull his attention away from it. When I talked to him, he seemed distracted and a little annoyed. When he was on it and I was doing whatever, he had this weird kinda perverted grin on his face. It was a mess.
- I noticed he was following tons of other women. I don’t really care what my boyfriend does on social media, generally speaking, and I’m self-assured enough that I’m not threatened if he likes some Victoria’s Secret model’s pics or whatever. However, I had a look at the list of people he was following and it was literally 5% buddies from college and a few colleagues and 95% hot Insta models whose entire feeds consisted of half- or mostly nude photos. And he wasn’t just following them, he was liking their pics AND commenting (the fire emoji was one of his personal favs).
- I had a feeling he was being unfaithful. At this point, while I definitely didn’t think he was hooking up with Holly from OnlyFans or anything, but the fact that he was so fervently following extremely sexualized women on social media — no shame to them, secure the bag, ladies! — made me feel like he must be seeking gratification elsewhere. At that point, I was pretty much sure I would have to check my boyfriend’s phone, as much as I knew I shouldn’t.
- He accidentally left his phone on the coffee table while showering. Getting a chance to check my boyfriend’s phone was difficult considering he never set the damn thing down. He literally took it with him everywhere, from the bathroom to the kitchen to pour himself a drink and everywhere in between. However, one day he made the rookie error of leaving it sitting on the coffee table while he got a quick shower and I knew that was probably the only chance I’d get to check out what he was up to.
- I had to look at his DMs. There were no shady texts or anything, but Instagram was his main haunting ground so I headed there next. I was shocked to see his inbox literally full of messages. He was messaging other women alright — dozens of them from the looks of things. I was absolutely furious even though I wasn’t surprised since he literally just confirmed my suspicions. However, oddly enough, the overriding emotion I experienced was actually complete and utter amusement.
- Not one of them responded to him positively. From every single message thread I looked in to various women — all of whom were hot as hell and total queens, so at least the guy has good taste — I could see that my boyfriend was either getting no reply at all, or he was being rejected because he clearly had a girlfriend (he made the mistake of leaving up photos of the two of us together on his feed). Wait, I tell a lie — one woman did actually just respond with a link to her OnlyFans page as well as her monthly subscription price, which I thought was pretty great.
- Some outright blocked him and called him a creep. Given that he had several photos of us together on his feed from throughout the span of our relationship, it was pretty clear by giving his profile a quick look that the guy was not single. While I know that doesn’t matter to some women, it clearly did to the ones he was choosing, because a couple of the women he messaged who responded told him they don’t go out with men in relationships and that they wanted to find me so they could tell me what he was up to. It goes to show how little my boyfriend cared that he didn’t block them immediately or delete those message threads, but then again, he did a lot of stupid things.
- I broke up with him anyway. When I decided to check my boyfriend’s phone, I knew our relationship was over before I even picked it up. I simply didn’t trust him anymore, and that was enough for me to know that he had to go. Sure, he didn’t exactly seem to be successful in his attempt to cheat on me (and his pickup lines were wack as hell, so it’s not hard to see why), but the fact that he wanted to showed that he didn’t value me at all. When I confronted him about what I’d found when breaking up with him, he claimed that his messages didn’t mean anything and it was “no big deal.” Neither was leaving him, at that point.