I didn’t want to talk to this dude I met on a dating app anymore so I stopped and went AWOL. I didn’t say goodbye or tell him we just weren’t a match, so I guess I ghosted him even though we never even met in person and weren’t a thing. Unfortunately, he didn’t just accept it and move on…
He wasn’t the right guy for me. From the first moment we started chatting on a dating app, I just felt that we weren’t a good match for each other. We had very different values and hobbies and I wasn’t attracted to him. I started chatting to him because I felt that there was no harm in that—keep it light and casual, you know? Unfortunately, I didn’t realize he wanted more when I decided to leave the chat and move on to find someone else.
I didn’t think it was a big deal. I didn’t think that abruptly ending a conversation with a guy on a dating app was such a big deal. Things like this happened all the time—I’ve had it done to me before where the guy just disappeared. I was only talking to this guy! It’s not like we were in a relationship or anything. He sent me another message on the app asking where I I went but I ignored it. It was fine for a couple of days. I went about my business and totally forgot all about that guy. So when he crept back into my online life, it made me feel a bit creeped out.
He sent me a message on Instagram. I received a notification from someone I didn’t know on Instagram so I went to check out the message. There was the guy from the dating app! His message read, “I found you on here from the dating app. Didn’t your parents ever teach you manners? Why did you disappear like that?” Yikes. I thought it was best to totally ignore his message and I hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
He then slid into my Facebook messages. A day after sending that message on Instagram, the guy sent me a direct message on Facebook. He said that he thought we had a good connection on the dating app and he just wanted to continue chatting. If I didn’t want to do that, it was the least I could do to tell him why I didn’t like him. Whoa, chill out.
I ignored it again. Although I felt a bit bad, I realized this guy was a bit too clingy for his own good so I ignored him. We’d only been chatting casually for about a week on the dating app and now he was acting like we were in some sort of long-term relationship. It was too much. I also ignored him because I didn’t want to encourage him to continue talking to me. I blocked him and hoped that would be the end of it for good.
He then sent me a tweet. Was there no stopping this guy?! It felt like he was stalking me on social media. He replied to one of my tweets about a writing quote with the words “so true” and he added a heart emoji at the end. It was like he figured out his angry approach wasn’t working so now he was resorting to trying to butter me up. Needless to say, I blocked him again.
This was really freaking me out. I felt trapped, like he could find me anywhere—and not just online. It also made me worry about how easy it is to find someone online.
I never mentioned any social media accounts on my dating app profile. My dating app profile (which I promptly deleted) was pretty bare when it came to personal information. Maybe he did a Google search of my picture and it had brought up all my social media accounts? I know he hadn’t known my name during conversation, but that was easy to find once he located my social media accounts. Luckily, I didn’t have much personal information listed on those social media accounts, otherwise, who knows? He might’ve sent me a text or tried to call me.
I made all my social media accounts private. I made sure that no one could look through my info and pictures on social media anymore. This guy really alerted me to the fact of how easy it was to do that, so something good came out of this horrible experience.
I have to listen to my gut. I didn’t really want to talk to the guy on the dating app when he first got in touch, and I guess there was a reason for that. He didn’t give me creepy vibes or anything like that, but I just felt a bit “meh” about the whole thing. In future, I’m going to listen to my gut If something just feels wrong or like I can’t be bothered to do it, then I’m taking that feeling and running with it.
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