I Give My Trust Away Too Easily But I Can’t Stop

Whenever I meet a guy who seems to be genuinely “good,” I immediately trust that he’s being upfront and honest about everything he says to me. It’s almost subconscious in a way, so much so that I don’t even give the fact that he may not deserve my trust a second thought. It hasn’t always paid off since I’ve been betrayed more times than I can count, but I can’t really stop myself.

  1. It’s in my nature. I’m a trusting person naturally, so whenever I meet a new guy, I have no problem believing that he’s honest because that’s how I would be with anyone else I meet. I want to have the mindset that good people are everywhere, and if I don’t trust the guy I’m into, what makes me think I can trust any other acquaintance in my life?
  2. Weirdly enough, I used to have trust issues. When I was younger, I never trusted anyone — not even people who proved over and over again that they were worthy of it. Quite frankly, I was far worse off when I had that mindset that I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself. I know it’s not good to swing from one extreme to the other, but I do prefer things this way.
  3. I always tell the truth, so I assume people are the same way. I never lie — like, ever. Even if I do something horrible and I know the other person isn’t going to like the truth, I tell it anyway because it’s one thing to do something wrong and it’s quite another to lie about it. When it comes to a guy I’m interested in, I always assume that he’s the same way because why wouldn’t he be? Honesty is where it’s at, even if it’s brutal.
  4. Trusting is easier than being wary of every guy I meet. I’d rather trust someone than distrust them because a) it may just give them the chance to rise to the occasion and b) it’s just easier. I don’t want to walk around feeling like I’m being deceived all the time. It’s just not a healthy way of thinking and it doesn’t do anything but hurt the person harboring those feelings— me.
  5. I like to think I can weed out the liars. It’s usually pretty easy for me to spot a lie, and as soon as I get the inclination that someone isn’t telling me the truth, I’m going to call them out on it and then be done with them altogether. I trust myself as much as I do others to know that I have my own back when it comes to the liars that blend in with the good guys.
  6. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I always take the stance when I first meet someone that they’re good and decent because that’s how I would want to be perceived. When people are constantly told that they have to earn someone’s kindness or trust, I feel as though it makes it harder to really want to put in the effort to do so. My trust doesn’t need to be earned, just respected.
  7. I want to assume people are inherently good. Good people don’t lie — they just don’t. And for me to get through life with a smile on my face and the optimism I’ve held onto through all the crap that I’ve been through, I have to believe that there are more genuinely decent human beings on the planet than awful ones. I do have my moments when it’s hard to keep up with that assumption but when I meet someone for the first time, that’s my go-to.
  8. I get let down a lot but I’m always better for it. I learn lesson after valuable lesson because of my trusting ways, and although during those rough times I can be downright devastated, I end up coming out on the other side better for it. I can sleep well at night knowing that, while people may betray the trust I give so freely, I’m not the one walking around ruining people.
  9. Once they lose my trust, it’s gone forever. I don’t make anyone earn my trust because if I give it freely, it’s up to them what they do with it. If they decide not to treat it with delicacy, then I’ll never trust them again. It’s just that simple for me. Trust isn’t something that can be rebuilt once broken in my eyes, so I don’t truly believe that it’s something that has to be built up in the first place.
  10. I would like to be smarter about it, though. I don’t really want to change my ability to trust people, but I wouldn’t mind being a little more in tune with the people I’m allowing to pull the wool over my eyes. It’s not a bad thing to be trusting, but it can be damaging to keep getting deceived time and time again.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.