I Had To Conquer My Phone Anxiety To Save My Relationship

A successful long-distance relationship requires a serious commitment to communication to keep things going when you’re away from the person you love. Given the fact that I have severe phone anxiety, trying to date someone who lives far away has been tough, to say the least. Still, I knew I’d have to get over it if we wanted to stay together.

  1. Texts can be misconstrued. It’s way too easy to misread a text or have someone else misread yours, causing unnecessary stress and arguments over nothing at all. If I have something important to say to my partner, I’ve learned to force myself to say it over the phone, where the tone of my voice is a clarifying factor.
  2. Emotions are clearer when we can hear each other. You can’t really hear the genuineness in someone’s voice when they text “I love you.” Even though I hate talking on the phone, I have to admit that there’s something special about hearing the emotions behind someone’s words, no matter what they’re saying.
  3. Arguments are impossible over iMessage. It’s much harder to work through problems when everything is written rather than spoken. It’s easier to stay mad when you don’t hear an apology straight from someone’s mouth. I’ve learned that nothing will ever get resolved if you don’t talk it out, so my partner and I insist on doing just that.
  4. It’s common to forget to respond to a text. We’re all guilty of opening someone’s text, reading it, and then forgetting to respond. This is an even bigger issue in a romantic relationship, especially a long-distance one. Communication is extremely important, and it’s harder to ignore a call than it is to ignore a text.
  5. It’s easier to get distracted while texting. One great thing about the invention of the text messaging is that it allows you to multitask. However, this can also be a problem when someone needs your undivided attention. I’ve found that it’s much easier to focus on a conversation with my boyfriend when I can actually hear his voice.
  6. Conversations tend to be longer over the phone. Via text, it’s easy to respond with a simple “not much” when someone asks you what’s up. That doesn’t reveal much about your life. Every life update is important in a LDR, so I’ve discovered that I’m much more eager to expand on my day-to-day when I have the ability to naturally ramble. This was one major reason I began forcing myself to dial instead of type.
  7. Talking on the phone is more like being together. There’s definitely a closeness I feel when I’m having a conversation with my boyfriend over the telephone compared to how I feel when we’re just messaging back and forth. It’s more similar to how I feel when I’m actually with him, and since closeness is a commodity in our relationship, I’ll take all of it I can get.
  8. Phone calls are the only source of intimacy. Sending sexy or romantic texts is fun, but it’s not quite the same as actually saying those dirty things out loud. At first, it was scary for me to express my sexual feelings when I wasn’t seeing my boyfriend’s reaction’s first-hand (or we weren’t actually doing the things I was talking about), but I found that speaking aloud adds an extra element of intimacy when we’re miles away.
  9. Hearing his voice reminds me why I’m with him. Even though talking on the phone gives me anxiety, I do love hearing the sound of my boyfriend’s voice. It reminds me how much I love him, and that alone is worth facing my fears.
  10. Love is about making compromises. Although it’s scary for me, my boyfriend loves talking on the phone. Sometimes compromises are necessary in a relationship to make things work. In this case, I’ve decided that conquering my phone anxiety is something that needs to be done to ensure the health of our relationship. I still need to take deep breaths before I pick up the phone, but I’m willing to fight through my uneasiness if it keeps us going strong.
If Giselle wasn’t a writer, she would probably be a sea nymph from Greek Mythology, a permanent resident in an Art Nouveau painting, or a professional exotic fruit taster. You can find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thecellophaneflower/.