Facial dysmorphia is a specific form of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) in which someone becomes overly focused on perceived imperfections in their facial features. These flaws are often exaggerated or even imagined, but to the person experiencing them, they feel painfully real. It can be a minor asymmetry, a perceived uneven smile, or even skin texture that feels intolerably flawed. According to WebMD, BDD can cause significant emotional distress and impact daily life.
This condition can lead to obsessive behavior, such as constant mirror-checking or avoiding social situations altogether. It’s not just about being self-conscious—it’s an ongoing struggle that can impact your mental health and daily functioning, as one reader shared with us.
Part of the “As Told to Bolde” series. Have a story to share? Contact [email protected]
1. “I Can’t Bare To Even Look At My Face In The Mirror.”
Meet Rachel, 29. She shares how living with facial dysmorphia is all-consuming and soul-crushing.
“I’ve never been able to look at myself in the mirror or a photograph. Where some people feel insecure about a pimple or a bad hair day, I have a real and all-consuming obsession that my face is completely messed up. Some days, my nose seems ridiculously large; others, I can’t stop fixating on how my asymmetry is all wrong. I’ll spend hours scrutinizing my reflection, hating every flaw, and wondering how people can bear to even look at me.
Learning I suffer from Facial dysmorphia was freeing, but I still feel like I’m trapped in a prison. I avoid social events because I’m convinced people are staring at my ugly face, I refuse to be photographed, and I spend hours shopping for makeup and miracle cures to try to rectify my face. Therapy is helping me understand this isn’t vanity or low self-esteem but a serious mental health condition that warps my perception of reality.”—Rachel Lang, Seattle.
Continue reading about facial dysmorphia and how to find self-acceptance >>
2. How Do You Develop Facial Dysmorphia?
The causes of facial dysmorphia are complex and varied. Sometimes, it’s rooted in childhood experiences, like being teased or criticized about your appearance. In other cases, it’s linked to genetics or a predisposition to anxiety disorders. Social pressure and unrealistic beauty standards can also contribute, especially in a culture that prioritizes physical perfection. According to Psychology Today, childhood trauma and social pressure can significantly influence the development of BDD.
It’s not just about vanity—it’s a mental health issue that can affect anyone, regardless of how they actually look. Some people might have a predisposition due to their upbringing or personality traits like perfectionism. Knowing the root cause doesn’t always fix the issue, but it can help contextualize why you feel this way.
3. Do Many Women Have It?
Facial dysmorphia is surprisingly common, especially among women. Social media and filtered selfies have made it even more prevalent. Studies suggest that a significant number of women experience some level of dissatisfaction with their facial features, but for those with facial dysmorphia, it’s more than just fleeting insecurity—it’s an obsession. According to Healthline, BDD affects both men and women, but societal beauty standards can make it more common among women.
Women often face societal pressure to meet unrealistic standards of beauty, which can trigger or worsen dysmorphia. Even women who objectively fit conventional beauty standards can struggle with this condition. It’s important to recognize that this isn’t about being shallow; it’s a real psychological issue that deserves understanding and support.
4. How Does It Make You Feel?
Living with facial dysmorphia can feel like being trapped in your own head. You might spend hours fixating on one perceived flaw, analyzing it from every angle. It’s exhausting and emotionally draining to constantly worry about how others perceive you. The anxiety can make social interactions feel like a minefield. According to Verywell Mind, BDD can cause significant social anxiety and isolation.
It’s not just about feeling unattractive—it’s about feeling deeply flawed on a fundamental level. The frustration comes from knowing that these thoughts are irrational but still being unable to shake them. Feeling disconnected from your own face can make everyday tasks like video calls or looking in mirrors feel daunting.
5. What Lengths Do Women Go To To Fix Invisible Flaws?
When you’re desperate to fix a perceived flaw, you might try anything. Some women spend a fortune on skincare products, invasive treatments, or even plastic surgery to correct something that may not even be noticeable to others. Others become obsessed with contouring or editing photos before posting them online.
In extreme cases, some might seek multiple opinions from dermatologists or plastic surgeons, convinced that the problem lies in their face rather than their perception. It becomes an endless cycle of searching for solutions to an issue that doesn’t truly exist. Understanding that these compulsions come from a place of deep insecurity can help in finding healthier coping mechanisms.
6. Why Does Mirror Checking Become An Obsession?
One of the most exhausting habits of facial dysmorphia is the constant need to check the mirror. You’re not looking to admire yourself—you’re looking to see if that perceived flaw has somehow gotten worse. It becomes an endless loop of looking, criticizing, adjusting, and then checking again to see if it’s any better.
The problem is that no amount of checking ever actually reassures you. It just reinforces the obsession. Breaking this cycle means deliberately limiting your mirror time and challenging yourself to leave the house without that one final check. The goal isn’t to ignore your appearance entirely but to stop letting it control your every move. Giving yourself permission to not be perfect can feel surprisingly liberating.
7. Can You Overcome FDD?
Treatment often involves a combination of therapy and self-acceptance practices. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in challenging the distorted thoughts associated with facial dysmorphia. Therapy helps you identify and question irrational beliefs, giving you the tools to break the cycle of obsession.
Practicing self-compassion is also crucial. It’s about learning to see your face as just one aspect of your identity rather than the defining feature. Sometimes, mindfulness exercises can help you become more present and less consumed by self-criticism. While progress can be slow, small steps toward self-acceptance make a big difference.
8. How To Learn To Love Who You Are
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring your insecurities—it means recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to your appearance. Learning to love who you are involves letting go of the idea that you must look perfect to be valued. It’s a mindset shift that allows you to appreciate your unique traits instead of viewing them as flaws.
It’s okay to want to look your best, but it’s equally important to know that beauty is subjective. Your friends and loved ones see you as a whole person, not as a collection of facial features. Embracing your imperfections as part of your story can make you feel more grounded and resilient.
9. Does Social Media Fuel Facial Dysmorphia?
Social media can be a minefield for anyone struggling with facial dysmorphia. The constant exposure to filtered, edited, and curated images can make you feel like everyone else looks flawless while you’re just falling short. It’s not just about comparing yourself to celebrities—sometimes it’s your own friends who seem to look effortlessly perfect in every shot.
The problem is that social media promotes a distorted reality where imperfections are erased, and everyone looks their best at all times. You end up chasing an ideal that doesn’t actually exist. Limiting your exposure or unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate can help create a healthier digital environment. Remember, behind every perfect selfie is probably an app and some heavy editing.
10. Why Do Compliments Also Make Things Worse?
When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, your brain doesn’t necessarily believe it. Compliments often clash with your internal dialogue, constantly telling you you’re not good enough. Instead of feeling flattered, you might feel awkward or even suspicious, questioning whether the compliment was genuine.
It’s not that you don’t appreciate kindness—it’s just that your brain has been conditioned to see flaws where others see beauty. This disconnect can make praise feel uncomfortable or even dismissive. Working on internal validation rather than relying on external approval is key. Learning to accept compliments without immediately rejecting them takes time, but it’s a step toward self-acceptance.
11. How Does It Affect Your Relationships And Social Life
Facial dysmorphia doesn’t just impact how you see yourself—it affects how you interact with the world. You might avoid social events, decline video calls, or spend way too long preparing just to leave the house. Relationships can feel strained when your partner or friends don’t understand why you’re so preoccupied with your appearance.
Sometimes, you might even project your insecurities onto others, convinced they’re secretly judging you or talking about how you look. This can make forming and maintaining connections exhausting. Communicating openly with people you trust about your struggles can help ease some of that tension. Support from those who care about you can remind you that your worth isn’t tied to your appearance.
