Health issues have kept me out of the dating scene for a long time—almost two years, to be exact. Now that I’m better, I’m ready to put myself back out there but I’m totally lost and don’t know where to start.
- People are WAY flakier than they used to be. Is it just me or does every person in the online dating sphere always have something better to do than actually interact with you like a normal person? I did the online dating thing a long time ago and I don’t remember people being so blase. If I don’t text back, things are just…over I guess people are on more than one app nowadays, so there’s always a secondary distraction. When one option is no longer available, there are a million more where that came from. It really sucks.
- It’s a weird time to start dating again. Leave it to me to start dating again now. The #MeToo movement has settled down a bit, but I’m still hearing about people getting busted for sexual harassment, and even on the street, men and women are getting kinda testy with each other over perceived mistreatment. I’m happy this reckoning is happening but man, it makes dating awkward as hell.
- I haven’t gotten any less awkward over the years. I’m already a bit of a shy, awkward person, so the fact that I’ve sworn off dating for two years isn’t exactly the best thing for my self-esteem. I thought maybe taking a break would have given me a chance to naturally flourish a bit, but that hasn’t happened and it’s making getting back into the swing of things even harder.
- Modern dating seems super lazy for some reason. Do people actually even date anymore? Everyone seems to be just “hanging out” these days, and while I know it’s only been two years, the people I’ve talked to online are suggesting the laziest “dates” I’ve ever heard of. It’s all stuff like chilling in the park, going for a walk, or going shopping. What? What about a classic, face-to-face conversation over coffee or some drinks? I don’t want to be randomly incorporated into someone’s day-to-day errands!
- I REALLY don’t want to succumb to online dating apps. I was always kinda pessimistic about dating, and even more so once everyone started downloading apps to find love. I never downloaded Tinder or anything like that but I did use actual online dating sites. Now, though, people have multiple apps running at once and it seems like my only option is to talk to people through them. It feels super lame.
- People are weirdly shocked that I haven’t dated in two years. I guess it’s understandable considering how easy it is to get a date these days. In fact, it’s a little too easy, which is what makes it so intimidating. Even if I hadn’t taken a break for health reasons, part of me thinks I might have made the decision anyway because of the high turnover rate.
- I feel like there’s something wrong with me. One thing that’s really tripping me up is feeling like I shouldn’t have been out of the game for so long. I mean, there are other people out there who aren’t well but manage to stay in relationships! I have this idea that I can’t get back out there until I’m in perfect condition and totally confident, which will probably never happen. My insecurities often get the better of me.
- I’m so afraid the first guy I date will think I’m weird. I’m just dreading that first interaction where I have to spill my life story of the past two years to the guy I end up dating. How awkward! I know it shouldn’t be, especially since any guy worth dating won’t judge me for things I can’t actually help, but it’s still mortifying to think about.
- In the end, I’m the one who decides whether it’s normal or not. There are no rules for how long a person should be single. I spent a good chunk of my teen years single, so it’s just like that except I’m ten years older. I had some stuff going on that needed my attention and didn’t have it in me to even be interested in dating. Now that I feel like I’ve put myself back together enough, I think I’m ready to go for it.
- Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to jump back into it. Maybe my apprehension is a sign I shouldn’t be so quick to get back in the game. I mean, it’s been a while and I probably shouldn’t force it. Maybe I should wait for a really cool, worthwhile guy to come along all on his own? Who am I kidding? That’s totally wishful thinking on my part.
