I Know I Don’t Need A Guy To Be Happy, But Dammit, I Want One!

I’m strong, independent, self-sufficient, and have an amazing life. I don’t need a guy to complete me, I’m not waiting to find “The One” before I begin living to the fullest, and I’m content being single. However, just because all of those things are true doesn’t mean I don’t want a boyfriend or that it’s wrong that I do. I mean, damn, can’t a girl enjoy some companionship?

  1. I’m only human and I get lonely too. Humans crave the warmth and comfort, not to mention the company, of other humans. I’m cool on my own but sometimes it’d be nice to have someone to cuddle on the couch with or to share a large cheese pizza with. Doesn’t everyone crave that sometimes?
  2. Sex is pretty nice every once in a while. Yes, I can get myself off and I do often enough, but sometimes it’s nice to have sex with another person. I could have random hookups to fulfill this (very occasional) desire but that’s not my style. I need to have an emotional connection with the person I share my bed with, so I kinda need a boyfriend for that.
  3. Life is better when you have someone to share it with. I have an amazing group of girlfriends as well as a loving and supportive family and we’re always there to be one another’s biggest cheerleaders and share in life’s joys and tragedies. However, it’d be nice to have a dedicated partner who was by my side come rain or shine in ways that friends and family aren’t.
  4. Being in a relationship wouldn’t suddenly make me less independent. I hate when forever single people get all huffy when I mention that I’d like a relationship. It’s as if by having a partner, suddenly my entire life would change and every positive quality about me would dissipate into the ether without further warning. Uh, yeah, if you’re in the WRONG relationship that might happen, but I’m too smart for that.
  5. I know what I want and I believe there’s someone out there who can offer it to me. I would never get into a relationship simply for the sake of it. I love my life as-is enough that I don’t need to settle and the idea of being alone forever doesn’t bother me because it’s not realistic and I have bigger things to worry about. I truly believe there’s someone out there who’s on my level and who can work with me as an equal partner, so why would I be against that?
  6. Being anti-love isn’t cool. My general attitude towards life is live and let live. Whether you’re single, taken, gay, straight, child-free or have a dozen kids, you do what feels right for you. However, I hate the holier-than-thou BS I get from a lot of people who choose to roll solo long-term. That’s great for you, but why hate on me for actually wanting a relationship? What does it have to do with you anyway? It’s not “cool” or edgy to be anti-love. In fact, it just makes you seem kinda miserable.
  7. If I never find love, I’ll be fine—but I also know that’s unlikely. If it so happens that I end up being single for the rest of my life, fine, fair enough. It might suck a little but I know I can still live a full, happy life without it. However, I’m also well aware that I have another 60+ years on this earth (if I’m lucky) and that’s a long time and a lot of opportunity to meet someone. Right now, I’m totally chill about whatever comes my way, but I’m also really excited because I’m sure it’s something big.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.