I Know I Should Let You Go, But I Just Can’t

I Know I Should Let You Go, But I Just Can’t ©iStock/wundervisuals

I know our relationship wasn’t perfect — in fact, it was pretty crappy sometimes. There was no way we were going to last forever, or even for very long, and I wasn’t all that surprised when we broke up — but that doesn’t mean I’ve moved on. I know I need to let you go, but I just can’t, and here’s why:

  1. I’m not a failure. I don’t give up easily. I’m determined to make our relationship work, because I know that we have potential. After all, happy couples always say that their relationships require a lot of effort, compromising, and unconditional love.
  2. Love is rare for me. If I give up on us, it might take me years to find someone else that I like as much as you. I actually think you’re one of the rare men that are worth my time, which is why I’m going to spend as much of it as I can with you.
  3. I don’t mind waiting for you to come around. I may be stubborn, but I’m certainly not impatient. I know that good things happen to those who wait. So I’m not going anywhere.
  4. Common sense doesn’t exist in the dating world. If I went with my head over my heart every time a new man entered my life, I wouldn’t get anywhere. I’d just dump my boyfriends as soon as they did the tiniest thing wrong. But that’s not the way it works, because logic has no place when it comes to love.
  5. I’ve invested a lot of time into you. I’ve spent hours texting you, shaving for you, and daydreaming about you. If I let you out of my life without a fight, then all of that would have been for nothing. I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you leave with my whole heart and hours of my precious time.
  6. I know what everyone thinks I should do. I’m not dumb. I know what the “right” move would be, because my friends keep telling me to make it. But I’m not going to do it, because I’d rather be happy than do the logical thing.
  7. I’m not delusional. I’m not going to put up with your BS, just so I can say I have a boyfriend. If you cross a boundary, then I’m leaving. You just haven’t crossed any real boundaries yet.
  8. I know what I’m doing. It might look like I have no idea what I’m doing, but I actually have a plan. As much as I hate dating games, I’m willing to play them if it means ending up with you.
  9. You’re the one that I want. And I always get what I want. At least, that’s what I tell myself, and I don’t want to find out that I’m wrong. Besides, after being with someone as wonderful as you, no one else will do.
  10. I believe in us. I’m not stubborn, just for the hell of it. I’m stubborn, because I know that we could make our relationship work if we played our cards right. I’m not ready to give up on us, because I think we have something truly special.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.