I was talking to my daughter the other day about my childhood. And she looked at me like I was describing a different planet.
“Wait, you walked to school alone at six years old?” “You ate dinner whether you liked it or not?” “Your parents didn’t know where you were for hours at a time?”
Yes. All of that. And more.
And I know how it sounds. Like I’m doing the “back in my day” thing. The “kids today are soft” routine that every generation does.
But that’s not what this is.
Because I’m not saying my childhood was better. It wasn’t. It was harder in ways that weren’t necessary. Harder in ways that hurt.
But those specific hardships—the ones that felt unfair at the time, the ones I resented, the ones I swore I’d never put my own kids through—they built something in me that I use every single day.
Resilience. Resourcefulness. The ability to handle things that would flatten someone who never had to struggle.
I’m not grateful for a hard childhood. But I can’t deny what it made me capable of.
Here are the specific hardships from my Boomer childhood that made me unstoppable.
1. I Had To Figure Things Out On My Own
There was no Google. No YouTube tutorials. No asking Siri.
If I didn’t know how to do something, I had to figure it out. Or ask someone. Or just try things until something worked.
My bike chain fell off when I was eight. I was three miles from home. And I had to fix it myself because there was no one to call. No parent coming to pick me up.
So I figured it out. Got grease all over my hands. Took me twenty minutes. But I fixed it.
Research on problem-solving development found that children who regularly navigate challenges without adult intervention develop significantly higher self-efficacy and adaptive thinking skills that persist throughout adulthood.
And that became my default. Something breaks? I figure it out. Something’s hard? I work on it until it’s not. Something’s unknown? I learn it.
I don’t wait for someone to save me. I don’t assume I can’t do it. I just start trying things until one of them works.
And that mindset—that absolute certainty that I can figure anything out if I try long enough—has carried me through every hard thing I’ve faced as an adult.
2. I Had To Sit With Disappointment Without Immediate Relief
I wanted something. A toy. A trip. Permission to do something. And the answer was no.
Not “maybe later.” Not “let’s find an alternative.” Just no.
And I had to sit with that. For days. Weeks. Sometimes permanently. There was no negotiation. No immediate distraction. Just disappointment that I had to metabolize on my own.
My parents didn’t rush to make me feel better. Didn’t offer substitutes. Didn’t try to fix my sadness.
They just let me be disappointed. And eventually, I moved on.
Now, I don’t fall apart when things don’t go my way. I don’t need immediate relief. I don’t need someone to fix it.
I just feel it. And wait. And eventually, it passes. And I keep going.
3. I Ate What Was Served Or Didn’t Eat
Dinner was dinner. There was one meal. You ate it, or you went hungry.
No alternatives. No customization. No negotiation.
I remember hating it. Sitting at the table staring at food I didn’t want, knowing I had no other option.
But here’s what it taught me: I don’t always get what I want. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just reality.
I learned to adapt. To make do. To not require perfect conditions to function.
And as an adult, that’s made me unstoppable. Because I don’t need everything to be ideal to move forward. I don’t wait for perfect circumstances. I just work with what I have.
4. I Failed Without Anyone Cushioning The Fall
I tried out for the basketball team in seventh grade. Didn’t make it. Got the rejection in front of everyone.
And my parents’ response? “That’s too bad. What are you going to try next?”
No processing my feelings. No calling the coach. No protest. Just: this is what happened. Move on.
And it hurt. But it also taught me: failure isn’t fatal. It’s just information. It tells you where you are. And then you decide what to do next.
Research on resilience and failure response found that individuals who experienced non-cushioned failures in childhood demonstrate significantly higher persistence and lower fear of failure in adult professional contexts.
I don’t catastrophize failure anymore. I don’t need someone to validate my disappointment or fix it for me. I just process it and keep going.
Because I learned early: you don’t die from failing. You just try again.
5. I Had Unsupervised Freedom (And The Consequences That Came With It)
I left the house in the morning. Came back when the streetlights came on. My parents had no idea where I was or what I was doing.
And sometimes I made bad decisions. Got hurt. Got in trouble. Faced consequences.
But I also learned judgment. How to assess risk. How to handle myself in situations where no adult was going to step in.
Studies on childhood autonomy found that children with high levels of unsupervised free time develop stronger risk assessment skills and greater confidence in independent decision-making than more closely supervised peers.
I learned to trust myself. To make decisions. To handle the outcomes.
And as an adult, I don’t need permission. I don’t need approval. I don’t need someone to tell me if something’s a good idea.
I assess. I decide. I handle the consequences. And I keep moving.
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6. I Learned That Comfort Wasn’t A Right
We didn’t have air conditioning. The car wasn’t climate-controlled. If it was hot, you were hot. If it was cold, you put on a sweater.
Discomfort was just part of life. Not something to be fixed immediately. Just something you dealt with.
And I hated it. But I learned something important: I can function in discomfort. I can work. Think. Move forward. Even when conditions aren’t ideal.
Research on stress tolerance and achievement found that individuals who experienced regular physical discomfort in childhood without immediate relief demonstrate higher persistence in uncomfortable situations and lower avoidance behaviors in adulthood.
As an adult, this is a superpower. Because I don’t need everything to be comfortable to keep going. I don’t shut down when things are hard. I just continue.
Discomfort is just noise. It’s not a reason to stop.
7. I Wasn’t The Center Of Anyone’s Universe
My parents loved me. But they didn’t organize their entire lives around me.
They had their own interests. Their own conversations. Their own priorities. And I was part of the family, not the reason for it.
So it was clear: the world doesn’t revolve around me. Other people have needs. And sometimes, I have to wait. Or compromise. Or just deal with not being the priority.
And that made me resilient in ways I didn’t understand until I was an adult.
Because I don’t expect special treatment. I don’t expect the world to accommodate me. I don’t fall apart when I’m not centered.
I just adapt. Adjust. Figure out how to operate in a world where I’m one person among many.
8. I Had Real Responsibilities, Not Chores
I wasn’t given age-appropriate tasks to teach me responsibility. I had actual jobs that the family depended on.
At ten, I was in charge of my younger siblings after school. Not babysitting for fun money. In charge. Making sure they were fed, safe, and alive when my parents got home from work.
At twelve, I mowed lawns for money because if I wanted anything beyond basic necessities, I had to pay for it myself.
These weren’t character-building exercises. They were requirements. The family needed me to do them.
And it made me understand that I’m capable of more than I think I am. I can handle real pressure. I can be depended on.
As an adult, I don’t shrink from responsibility. I don’t need someone to break things down into manageable pieces. I just handle it. Because I’ve been handling real things since I was a child.
9. I Learned That Fair Didn’t Mean Equal
My brother got new shoes because his feet grew. I didn’t, because mine still fit.
My sister got to do something I didn’t because she was older. Or younger. Or just because that’s how it worked out.
And when I complained that it wasn’t fair, my parents said, “Life isn’t fair. Get used to it.”
It was the worst, but it was also true: fair doesn’t mean everyone gets the same thing. It means everyone gets what they need. And sometimes what someone else needs looks different from what I need.
As an adult, I don’t waste energy being resentful when someone gets something I don’t. I don’t need everything to be perfectly equal to feel okay.
Related Stories from Bolde
- If your confidence rises and falls based on other people’s reactions, psychology says these 7 habits may be quietly reinforcing the cycle
- People who grew up in the ’60s remember when getting hurt outside was your own business — you walked it off, you didn’t tell anyone, and you were back out there the next day
- Psychology says people who can’t relax until every dish is washed aren’t uptight — they learned somewhere that rest had to be earned first, and the clean kitchen is the permission slip
