I Love A Guy Who Puts Me In My Place — Here’s Why It’s So Sexy

I’m a strong, independent woman with a solid career, a great group of friends, and plenty of thoughts and opinions of my own. However, when it comes to my relationship, I like to switch the dynamic a bit. I know it might not be very feminist of me, but I can be honest when I say that I love it when a guy puts me in my place. Here’s why it’s so sexy to me.

  1. Dominance is important. This is one of those primal reactions that I can’t really explain. It shows you what the guy you’re seeing is capable of, and gives you a few things to think about when your imagination runs riot.
  2. That masculine energy gets me going. I know it’s pretty traditional, but I’m not going to pretend that I don’t get turned on when a guy puts me in my place. It shows me that he’s assertive and experienced and that he will look after me. While I don’t want this to play out in every area of my life, in terms of my relationship, it’s incredibly hot.
  3. It makes me feel wanted. I don’t think anyone wants to enter into a relationship where he’s not sure about you. When a man puts me in my place, it’s his way of saying, “I want you, like this.” It shows you that he’s willing to order you around to get the best angle or position, which benefits both of us, if you get what I mean. I respect that.
  4. I know I’m desirable. As well as wanting a man to recognize my desirability, I am also fully aware that I’m a catch. Confidence is gained through self-knowledge as well as external validation. When a man puts me in my place, it gives me that validation and keeps my ego boosted.
  5. It’s a fantasy of mine. I spent my bookish teenage years having fantasies about the bad boys in real life and in literature. Maybe I never thought I’d get as far in life as to be pushed around by the jocks and popular kids, but now here I am. It’s wish fulfillment at its best, and having a confident guy show me the ropes emphasizes my own growth and how far I’ve come.
  6. That’s how it happened in the movies. I know that Hollywood isn’t real life, but that’s not to say it isn’t fun. We all want to have those main character moments, and if being thrown against a wall or lifted up on a counter achieves that, then so be it. When he challenges you or pushes you to learn new things about yourself or your body, it can be transformative.
  7. I know I’m not always right. It goes without saying that we’re all perfectly imperfect. If I can grow as a person by being put in my place, it shows me that he’s got courage. Few people will be willing to humble me or knock me down a peg, even if it’s in my interest. I’m not saying it’ll make me less stubborn, but it might encourage me to open my horizons.
  8. I don’t need a ‘yes’ man. If I wanted someone to follow me around and just agree with me, I’d hire an intern at work. But I don’t want that in a relationship. It’s such a turn-off when guys don’t have their own opinions. It shows me that a guy is really listening, and that I’m not just a side-chick if he puts me in my place.
  9. I can trust him to be good to me. It sounds counterintuitive, but when a guy makes me learn something or gain another experience by putting me in my place, I trust him more. Rather than sitting on the sidelines feeling superior, he cares enough to put me on the right path. I appreciate that, and it’s actually a solid foundation for a relationship.
  10. I can be just as rough in return. In every sense… Showing me that he respects me and puts me in my place shows me that we’re not going to tiptoe around each other. It’s far more efficient to assert our needs and wants early on in a relationship, which is why I find it intentional and sexy when a guy does.
  11. It shows his strength. This is true both emotionally and physically. If a man puts me in my place by lifting me up or throwing him over his shoulders, it makes me feel feminine and supported. Furthermore, if he has the emotional maturity to know when to correct me and when to listen and learn, that’s also a turn-on.
  12. Confidence is key. We all want to be with someone who knows what they want. It makes communication better, and it’s easier to be on the same page. When a guy puts you in your place, it’s such a confident move that you must appreciate his nerve.
  13. It can also be roleplay. Even if he’s naturally more timid in personality, I can experiment with him taking on a stronger role in the bedroom to shake things up. That’s hot.
  14. Don’t we all have Daddy issues? This is a rhetorical question because I know many of us do in one way or another. Even if it doesn’t end up being super healthy, we’re allowed to like things that aren’t good for us. Sometimes that’s exactly what makes it sexy.
  15. I know I need to be humbled sometimes. I am a lot to handle and I claim that energy. But it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t benefit from the occasional man who decides to put me in my place, even if it’s mostly just to check back in with the rush of emotion that it gives me.
  16. I’m not afraid to be myself. No one should be, and certainly not while in a relationship. When you feel free to be yourself, unrestricted and fun-loving, it’s great to know that your guy can handle that and give it right back. That’s what makes it an equal partnership where you challenge each other.
Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.