I Love The Idea Of Love, But I Also Love Single Life—I’m Torn

I Love The Idea Of Love, But I Also Love Single Life—I’m Torn iStock/yuricazac

I’m comfortable being single but I can’t lie and say that I don’t sometimes wish I had a partner to share my life with. Both sides have their perks and I don’t know if I want a relationship or if I’d rather just do my own thing indefinitely. Ugh!

  1. The grass is always greener on the other side. It’s easy to wish for the opposite of whatever’s going on in my life at the moment. Every time I miss relationships, I have to remind myself that I used to long for single life when I was dating my ex-boyfriends. Hopefully I won’t feel that way when I’m with the right person, but at this point, I just don’t know.
  2. It’s a lot easier to crave love when I don’t have to deal with the reality of it. Love is so pretty when it’s unattainable. Then I’m in it and remember that it’s a lot of damn work! I do want to have an awesome relationship with a terrific man someday, but I also greatly enjoy my freedom and independence now, so it’s a tough call.
  3. I know I’d miss a lot about my single life. I’m not gonna lie, being single is pretty great most of the time. I get to make all my own decisions, do exactly what I want, and spend my money how I please. I don’t wait on anyone—I go on adventures and live my best life now. Even though I want love, I hesitate to give all this up.
  4. I’ve gotten used to doing things my own way. It’s tough to bring back the idea of meeting another person halfway after this long. I live alone and I run my life exactly the way I want it. I don’t have any ties and I honestly don’t have to take anyone else but myself into consideration when I make most of my decisions. It’ll be tough to change.
  5. I never have to worry about compromise. It’s almost non-existent in my life. Of course I do have to make sacrifices here and there, but it’s nothing like the continuous give-and-take of a romantic relationship. I’ve gotten so used to living this way that I’m loath to give it up for a boyfriend.
  6. It would be amazing to have an awesome partner, though… On the other hand, wouldn’t some compromise be worth having the right guy in my life? Someone to laugh with and share with, someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am? I do believe this, but I’m also afraid of choosing the wrong person.
  7. I want love just like anyone else. I’m only human, and in spite of my relative comfort in my current situation, I do want to love and be loved. I have so much love in my life but we all know that love from friends and family isn’t quite the same as love from a romantic partner. I still want to meet the man who can be my equal in life, even as I worry that I’d mourn my single self.
  8. It’s tough to know how I feel until I meet a good guy. I know that a lot of the way I feel is driven by the fact that I’m very cozy in my single routine. Love scares the hell out of me because if I fall for someone, that person suddenly has the power to hurt me. I’m currently not interested in anyone so that makes everything much easier. I don’t like being emotionally vulnerable, so I let my fear squash my desire for love.
  9. I’m scared to mess with a good thing. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it, right? I’m happy single. I have a really great life full of adventure and joy and good fortune. I don’t need to screw that up by bringing some random guy into the story. I have to be patient and wait for the right one, but will I even know he’s right?
  10. It seems like I always pick the wrong men so I’m afraid to even go there. I’m not sure that I trust myself to choose wisely, so I’d rather not choose at all. Even though I yearn for the right man for me, I simultaneously doubt that I’m capable of finding him. I stay single because it’s easier than being disappointed again.
  11. I’m going to relax and enjoy life regardless of my relationship status. I’m not going to force anything. Since I want love but I’m content being single too, I’ll go with the flow and wait to see what happens. I’m going to trust my gut and try to listen to it for once!
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.