I May Be An Introvert But I Don’t Need You To Bring Me Out Of My Shell

Introverts can be a little difficult to understand if you don’t share our ways. We like our own company, we’re easily exhausted by too much outside stimuli and we prefer to live a quiet, somewhat solitary life. We’re not shy and we definitely don’t need anyone to “bring us out of our shells” — we’re fine just as we are.

  1. Do we look like turtles? We’re sick of hearing people tell us that they’ll help bring us out of our shells. We’ve all looked in the mirror and we’re pretty sure we don’t look anything like turtles. We don’t have shells — we have lives and they just happen to be different than yours.
  2. We like being introverts. I realize it’s a novel concept that someone might actually like the idea of spending a night in or having a few close friends versus several dozen, but that’s exactly how we feel. We don’t need to go out and socialize constantly to be happy. We have plenty of hobbies, satisfying careers and even go on dates. Yes, we love our lives.
  3. No, there’s nothing wrong with us. When we say we’re introverted, you’d think we’d just told people we have a disease. Suddenly, people look at us with pity, but screw that. We’re fine — in fact, we’re more than fine. We’re great! We don’t need to change anything about ourselves or our lives because they’re amazing as-is.
  4. We’re perfectly happy with our social lives (or lack thereof). No, we don’t go out as often or like being in huge groups. You might not like pepperoni pizza, but we’re not judging you. (Okay, maybe a little because who doesn’t like pepperoni pizza?) Just because we don’t have to be around people 24/7 doesn’t mean we don’t have thrilling social lives. A night in with a few close friends is just as stimulating as a night out at a crowded club.
  5. Yes, we’re sometimes harder to please. Extroverts don’t seem to understand that we enjoy real conversation or that we take a little time to open up instead of sharing our whole life story on the first date. We want a deeper connection and if that makes us harder to please, then so be it.
  6. We don’t have to change for anyone. We introverts been told numerous times that we need to change or put ourselves out there more to be happy. Why? If people don’t like us for who we are, then we don’t need them in our lives. We don’t need to be fixed. We don’t need to change. We’re happy as we are.
  7. The white knight thing isn’t impressive. Okay, we get it — guys think trying to rescue us from what they consider a dull, bland introvert lifestyle will make us instantly want to sleep with them. Sorry, but no. We don’t need a white knight swinging his tiny little sword to come and rescue us. We’re fine. It’s not impressive. It’s an insult. A real man would understand.
  8. Accepting who we are is what we need. When some guys find out a woman is introverted, they run away. We’re honestly not that difficult. All we really want is someone to accept us for who we are instead of trying to change our personality. It’s not that much to ask — at least we don’t think so. If we’re happy being us, then others should be happy with who we are too.
  9. We don’t need others to validate us. I know some of my introverted friends are deeply offended and hurt when others don’t quite understand them, but not all of us. Who cares! We’re not some shy little wallflowers. We don’t need anyone to validate us. We have great lives with crazy friends just like everyone else. Someone else’s opinion isn’t going to change that.
  10. We’re not trying to tame you. I’ve never once approached an extrovert and offered to help them tame their outgoing ways. Why? That’s who they are. I have extroverts as friends and we get along fine. We respect each other’s differences and go on with life.
  11. Introverts are better than you think. I don’t know where everyone got the idea that introverts are shy, dull, anxiety-ridden freaks. We’re not. Yes, some of us have anxiety. Some of us are shy. But it doesn’t make us freaks. Imagine the life of an extrovert, but more internalized. Being around introverts makes you feel life in an entirely new way. Of course, you have to stop trying to fix us and see all that we have to offer.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.