I Start Planning My Life With A Guy After A Week Of Dating — Why Am I Like This?

I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person and a pretty level-headed one too… except when it comes to love. It’s not that I’m blind to red flags or that I’m naive. I know it takes time to get to know someone, figure out chemistry, and determine long-term compatibility. However, that doesn’t stop me from basically planning the rest of my life with a guy within a week or so of us meeting. It’s a serious problem but I can’t seem to stop!

  1. Having someone to crush on makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl. Remember how when you were younger, you used to sit in class, writing your first name with your crush’s last name over and over again, picturing what it would look like on your future wedding invitations? I get that same feeling as an adult when I’m dating someone new that I’m really excited about. I literally feel like I’m 12 years old again and it’s kind of the best.
  2. I just love love. I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic and there’s something I really love about love. I don’t necessarily convince myself that I’m in love with a guy right away, but I do get caught up in the magic and excitement of a new connection and admittedly, I do get a bit ahead of myself every now and then. Is there anything wrong with that really?
  3. I’m not getting any younger. Maybe one of the reasons I get so carried away with guys so quickly is that I’m well aware that I’m getting older. I did all the casual, no-strings-attached stuff in my early and mid-20s. I’m a bit older now and I want something serious. I want to meet the person I can spend the rest of my life with, so my head automatically goes to that space when I start dating someone new. It makes sense, I think.
  4. I want to have kids. Again, I’m getting older and unfortunately, women’s fertility doesn’t last forever. I have another five or six years in which I’d be comfortable bringing a child into the world, which means I need to meet my “One” very soon. I’m not saying I choose guys based on biological imperative, but I’m also not going to lie and say it doesn’t pop into my mind when I do start dating someone I like.
  5. I want to get married. You can get married at any age, so there’s not exactly a rush on that, but I’d like to have a wedding that my parents and grandparents are around to attend. They know how much I’ve always wanted to have the “fairytale,” so to speak, and I know how much it would mean to them to see that I finally got it. Again, I don’t automatically assume any guy I date is going to make the world’s best husband, but it is something I consider when I’m into someone.
  6. I’m pretty choosy about the guys I date anyway. I wouldn’t date someone that I didn’t think had long-term potential. If we clearly want different things from the beginning, I wouldn’t go ahead with getting to know him anyway for the sake of forcing the relationship. Because I’m pretty selective in this regard, I feel a bit more comfortable letting myself get lost in the fantasy a bit when I’m dating someone new. I already know we’re kinda on the same page, so it could totally end up happening that we spend the rest of our lives together.
  7. There’s really no harm in it, I guess. While my friends make fun of me for it and I sometimes feel a bit weird for getting obsessed and planning my whole life with a guy I’ve only just met, I don’t really see any harm in it. It’s not like I’m telling him about all the stuff going on in my head, and it’s also not like I can’t move on if things don’t work out. I just want to find my person so we can have an amazing life together. I mean, who doesn’t?
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill