After I broke up with my ex, I spent a lot of time working on myself and my life and finally, I got to a good place again. I thought I was over him, but I realized that wasn’t quite true when I actually saw him again.
- I cut ties with him after we broke up. If I ever wanted to get over him, he couldn’t stay in my life. He wanted to be friends, but I knew I’d always want to be more. I needed to do what was best for me so I shut him out. I deleted him on social media, erased his phone number, and cut all physical contact with him despite the fact that we had mutual friends. I didn’t want to hear about him or see him. Doing all of that was how I got over him… or at least I thought I had.
- Seeing him again brought back all of my trust issues. He was supposed to be the person I could trust above all and look where that left me. I was alone and single once again. I was finally learning how to trust someone enough to be vulnerable again but running into my ex was just a reminder of everything I had to lose. I realized that if I let someone in, they might hurt me just like he did.
- It felt like I was back to square one. I’d spent so much time trying to forget that our relationship had ever even happened. I was moving on with my own life because I finally realized that I deserved better. I wish that seeing my ex again would have reaffirmed the fact that he was horrible to me, but when I looked in his eyes, all I could remember were the good times. All the progress I’d made since our breakup just washed away.
- I wanted to be able to forgive him. I thought I had forgiven him. Despite everything he put me through, I honestly thought that I wished him the best, but running into him was a reality check. I didn’t want him to move on and be happy with someone else. The thought of him loving another woman the way he was supposed to love me was still devastating. I wanted him to know what it was like to be in my shoes. I thought he had my forgiveness, but the truth was that I still wanted him to feel my pain.
- I wish I could erase him from my memories. It took me a long time to forget him, or at least to stop thinking about him every second of every day. Over time, I thought of him less and less. I stopped being reminded of him by everything I saw and everywhere I went, but since seeing him again, he’s all I can think of again. All the memories of loving him and the pain of losing him have flooded back in full force. I thought I put the past in the past, but once again, my mind is playing our love story turned tragedy on a constant loop.
- I’m afraid to love him again. I’m not sure if he does, but what if he feels something too? What if he had the same reaction to seeing me again? I know our whole relationship changed me and I’m guessing it changed him too, but reopening that book is a dangerous game. Fool me once, shame on him; fool me twice and my heartbreak would be my own fault. Maybe he’s a different person now. Maybe he’s a better man. Either way, I’m terrified to have feelings for him again.
- I don’t want to get back together. To be honest, I’m conflicted. When he walked through that door, my heart skipped a beat. My heart wanted him back but my head knew better and said no right away. My heart was charmed by his smile but my head remembered how he broke me. I know it’s in my best interest to never ever get back together; I just wish my heart agreed.
- I need to take a real look at my self-worth. I’m disgusted by the fact that a man who treated me so poorly could still hold a place in my heart. I would’ve liked to have seen him again and felt completely indifferent. I would like to not have cared how he looked or if his life was going well. I would’ve liked for my heart to realize that I deserve better and to never give him another thought. What does that say about my sense of self-worth that a man who made me feel like I was nothing still means something to me?
- I just want to be 100% over him. I don’t want any percentage of lingering feelings. Realizing that I still have some sort of leftover love for him was just devastating. It made me feel like I’ll never be happy with anyone else. I could try to move on, but every time I see him again, will I just forget my new life and want my old one back? I thought I could start letting a new man in, but how can I if my ex is still occupying my heart?
