When my relationship hit a rough patch, I figured taking a temporary break from each other was the best option. While I didn’t intend for our separation to be permanent, taking some time and space away from my boyfriend made me realize I’m actually better off alone.
I loved having no obligations. I didn’t feel forced to check in with him throughout the day, and not having set plans every single weekend was the most liberating feeling in the world. Being on a break was like being free of any relationship obligations that were unknowingly bogging me down.
I started to see things in a different light. Being away from him allowed me to clear my mind and see our relationship for what it truly was. Obviously, since we agreed to take a break, things weren’t really working for us. Being apart from him helped me realized that we were on a downward spiral. It was at that point that I knew things were over between us, and it was time for me to head back out into the dating world.
Our break didn’t actually fix anything. Most couples take some time away from each other when they get stressed out or the pressure of being committed to each other becomes too much. A break is supposed to allow time for each party to cool down and reconvene at a later date, better than ever and ready to resume the relationship. But for me, the opposite happened. I didn’t feel like things would be able to pick up and progress after our time apart. I had to walk away.
I realized his many faults. Of course, I wasn’t free of any blame, but being away from him really opened my eyes to his less than charming qualities. Although we had a good run, some things about him really irked me, and it was those same idiosyncrasies that I didn’t miss at all when we took some time away from each other. It was time for me to leave him in the dust.
I regained my independence. I knew I couldn’t depend on him to bail me out of certain situations or to bring me dinner when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. I regained my sense of self and reclaimed my independence in the process. I realized while it was nice having him around, I didn’t need him to come to my rescue.
I rarely missed him. I really thought I would be lost without him, missing his presence and being unable to go on without him. Luckily, I didn’t go through those emotions at all. In fact, he would cross my mind from time to time, but I didn’t miss him like I thought I would. That’s how I knew things were done and I was better off being single.
I was much more productive. Work flew by without me having to check my phone every few minutes to see if I’d a missed call or text message from him. And since we were no longer spending all of our free time together, it gave me the opportunity to focus on myself. I cranked out new projects, worked on my hobbies, and became more productive than I’d ever been.
Reconnecting with old friends was amazing. Sadly, I’d placed my good friends on the backburner when I got into a relationship. But when my boyfriend and I decided to take a break, I reached out to them in an attempt to reconnect. Thankfully, they accepted me with open arms and reconnecting with them made me realize how much I valued their friendship. My relationship had kept me away from the people who meant the most to me, and I knew I had to be single in order to repair what had been damaged.
I discovered there was someone better for me. During our break, I didn’t intend on dating, but it just happened. I was living the life of a single woman and met a few people who I thought would be a better match for me. It sucked, but it helped me come to terms with the fact that my relationship was donezo.
The lack of communication sealed our fate. Communication is a huge part of any successful relationship, and since we weren’t talking as much as we used to, our bond began to weaken over time. Don’t get me wrong, taking time apart and going weeks without chatting to each other wasn’t easy at all, but on the flip side, it helped to gently weaken the bond that existed between us. Without talking to each other, pouring our hearts out and maintaining an emotional attachment, it helped to reaffirm my decision that it was time to go our separate ways.
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