I Tried Saying Yes To Every Guy Who Asked Me Out & It Sucked

After a while, I got fed up with pining after guys who didn’t want me. It was kind of pathetic—I’d make sad breakup playlists, sob-eat ice cream, and wonder why nobody loved me like I was in my own personal Bridget Jones movie. So I decided to try something new: instead of chasing guys who didn’t want me, why not try saying yes to guys who did?

  1. I thought I was being too picky. I had a list of qualities I was looking for in a guy—tall, smart, wickedly funny, feminist—and I thought maybe that was unrealistic. Maybe I was unwittingly writing off great guys because they didn’t satisfy a checklist. Plus, I was far from perfect—maybe finding a good guy meant lowering my standards so someone could actually meet them.
  2. First impressions aren’t everything. I’m definitely a snap-judgment kind of person—I can tell within five minutes whether I’m into someone or not—but I realized some of my best friendships started out kind of slowly and then grew into awesome relationships, so why not take the same approach to dating? Just because I wasn’t feeling it 30 minutes in didn’t mean something great couldn’t develop over time.
  3. I needed the ego boost. Not proud to admit this, but it was kind of a kick to feel like I was the one being chased instead of the other way around. After multiple broken hearts, I needed to re-remember that I was worth pursuing, and opening myself up to guys I would normally reject would help me do that.
  4. I was excited to explore. I’d pretty much been with the same type of guy all my life—like I said, I had a checklist and everyone I’d ever dated ticked most if not all of those boxes, making them basically carbon copies of each other. I was looking forward to stepping outside of my comfort zone—maybe I’d realize I was into a completely different type of guy than I thought!
  5. I kept myself in uncomfortable situations—and they stayed uncomfortable. Ok, so I stepped out of my comfort zone, but it turned out that it was just unpleasant. The guys I went on dates with were not my type, and they didn’t “grow on me” as the dates went on; things just stayed awkward. In any other situation, I would’ve pretended my nonexistent cat needed an emergency surgery and ducked the hell outta there. But because I had told myself that I was trying to “challenge” myself, I stayed—and suffered through some boring, unenjoyable, and downright terrible dates in the process.
  6. My gut was always right. Remember when I said I was trying not to make snap-judgments about people? Turns out my instincts were pretty much always spot-on. Goatee guy who seemed a little off? He was ridiculously racist and displayed some borderline psychopathic tendencies. The awkward guy I met at a bus stand? He was super handsy and it was creepy as hell. I realized that I’d been saying no to these guys for a reason—they sucked.
  7. I wasted my time. I didn’t expect every date to be sizzling, but I didn’t expect them to be this bad. Every single guy was mind-numbingly boring at best and made me consider changing my number at worst. I wasted hours getting ready, having dinner, and trying to make awkward conversation with these dudes when I could have been hanging with my girls, reading a book, sleeping—literally anything would have been a better use of my time.
  8. I kept having to explain myself to people. A lot of my friends (and even casual acquaintances) kept asking me why in the world I was out with these guys. Usually, I don’t care what people think of my dating life—I do what makes me happy, but in this situation, I didn’t even like the guys I was dating and I kept feeling like I had to defend myself and explain that I was “trying out this new dating strategy.” It was annoying and kind of embarrassing.
  9. My list of “must avoid” guys grew. I’ve always prided myself on being able to end relationships smoothly to the point where I can run into guys casually and still keep things friendly. But none of these guys handled rejection well, and a couple turned really nasty. Suddenly, I found myself avoiding certain places because I didn’t want to run the risk of an uncomfortable encounter. That was just drama I did not need to deal with.
  10. I realized I do know what I want. A lot of the motivation behind saying yes to every guy who asked me out was to shake up my standards, but in the end, I realized that my standards were there for a reason! I’m not this crazy unrealistic diva who wants a six-foot tall billionaire who’s a perfect gentleman, plays the piano like Beethoven, loves spicy food and is working on the cure for cancer. I just want someone special who fits what I’m looking for—and I’m pretty confident that I’ll find that person, so there’s no reason to give losers the time of day.
Devani is a biology student with a deep love and no talent for spoken word poetry. She enjoys singing in the shower, lychee boba, and hopes to one day develop enough coordination to look cool in da club.