I Used To Want To Have Sex Multiple Times A Day, But The Thought Of It Now Makes Me So Exhausted

There used to be a time in my life where the prospect of having sex multiple times a day sounded ideal. Nowadays, not so much—the very thought makes me almost immediately exhausted. I’m always down for a wild romp, just not quite so often.

  1. I barely have time for a 10-minute nap. My day is already so packed that I’d have to do some serious maneuvering to fit in more than one sex session. Even if I bookended my days with sex, which I hear many people do, I’d probably end up waking up earlier and going to bed later than I would prefer. It just seems like a hassle to fit it in. Plus, if I ever do have any extra time, I’m definitely using it to get some shut-eye.
  2. Unless I can have multiple rounds of 30-minute long passionate sex, I don’t want it. I’m partial to semi-long sex sessions; quickies just don’t do it for me. Unless I can have what I like, I don’t want to have to cram sex into my day. And let’s be honest, having multiple sessions would mean they’d have to be quickies because who has time for multiple rounds of half-hour long sex sessions?
  3. Multiple orgasms actually don’t sound appealing to me at all. I’m a one and done kind of girl. My sexual organs are pretty sensitive and multiple orgasms sound exactly like a recipe for torture. After one round of sex with a good orgasm, I’m set for the entire day and maybe a few days after that. I need to give my body a break!
  4. The mood rarely strikes every day, let alone multiple times a day anymore. Maybe it’s my IUD (which has been linked to lowering women’s libidos) or maybe it’s my busy lifestyle, job, and long-term relationship. Or maybe it’s just me. Whatever the reason, the last time that I wanted to have sex all of the time every single day, multiple times a day was years ago. Even if I wanted to have sex multiple times a day, my body wouldn’t be into it.
  5. More sex during the day means less time for my obligations and other interests. Reading, cooking elaborate meals, watching reality TV, and working out are all things that I enjoy doing. I’d have to give one or many of those things up if I romped multiple times a day, especially since I hate quickies, as previously mentioned. Honestly, I get more from watching the Real Housewives of New York than multiple rounds of sex.
  6. A sore vagina really sucks. Way back in the day when I used to have sex multiple times a day, I used to feel a strange pride in having an ultra sore vagina from all of the sex I was having. It was like I equated having a sore vagina to having good sex. These days, I’m aware of how silly and utterly misguided this thinking actually was. There’s nothing worse than not giving your lady parts time to recuperate when they’re sore. Not only does sex multiple times a day exhaust me now, it also downright sounds painful.
  7. There’s something called “too much of a good thing.” To me, sex is a super sacred thing I share with my boyfriend. I’m not especially religious but I am extremely spiritual and so when I do have sex, I feel like I’m exercising my spirituality as much as my sexuality. Its sacredness is apart of the reason I don’t want to have it too frequently. I don’t want to take away from its spiritual significance.
  8. I feel like I’d have to force myself to do it. Sex should never feel forced. It should feel deliberate, intentional, and like something that I actually desire, not like completing a chore. Thinking about doing chores like dishes and vacuuming exhausts me because I have to force myself to do them. They’re not enjoyable, they’re things you have to do. I don’t want to feel that way about sex and if I tried to have it multiple times a day, I’m afraid I would.
  9. I can connect with my boyfriend in other meaningful ways. My relationship isn’t all about sex anymore. We connect over more now than we did at the beginning of our relationship when sex was more of a priority. Our chemistry doesn’t dwindle at all, I just like to keep a nice reserve built up so that it feels fresh when we do have sex. Twice a week sounds like more than enough for me to be happy, get some sleep, and feel fulfilled.
Marie is an ambitious millennial woman, leading a corporate life by day and doing her best to live, laugh and love.