I Want A Big Wedding—I Just Don’t Want A Husband

I’m one of those women who has been dreaming about my wedding day since I was old enough to make a fake veil out of toilet paper. Sometimes I get so eager to have a grand ceremony that I forget what it would really mean to be married to someone. Here’s why I know that my passion for nuptials doesn’t mean I’m quite ready to tie the knot.

  1. I don’t have the financial stability to survive a wedding. Even if I did have enough money to cover an extravagant wedding, I don’t have enough savings to live comfortably afterward. A wedding can be a huge financial hit, and both partners have to be prepared for the aftereffects. Right now, I need to focus on building my bank balance for the future instead of draining it.
  2. I love romance but I love my independence more. Any of my friends will tell you, I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m a sucker for romantic films and books and I desperately want to find my own happily ever after. However, there’s one thing I love even more than love: I love being independent. Even though I want to fall head over heels, I’m not ready to become one part of a pair and equally responsible for another person. I want to keep doing me a while longer.
  3. I love the idea of being a fiancee, but not of being a wife. Maybe it’s just the connotations of the “wife” title, but being called someone’s wife would make me feel older than I am. I’m still young and I want to feel young as long as possible. Being engaged sounds dreamy, but I know that I shouldn’t be someone’s fiancee if I’m not ready to be their wife.
  4. I don’t want the pressure to have kids. Many people think because you’re getting married, kids are coming soon in the future. Even though it’s 2018 and that’s obviously not true anymore, I’m not ready to deal with that inevitable pressure from pesky relatives and nosy friends. I don’t know what I want or if I even want to be a parent, so I don’t need to be harassed about it.
  5. I’m busy taking care of myself. Part of getting married means that you agree to take care of your spouse. I’m still learning how to take care of myself. As much as I really want to, I know that I don’t have the time or energy to devote myself completely to another person. Maybe someday I’ll be in a place to do it but that’s certainly not the case right now.
  6. I’m in love with the idea of everlasting love and I don’t even know if it exists. I’m terrified of losing the initial spark with the person I love, but the transition into friendship seems inevitable in a long-term marriage. It’s a fact that I need to get comfortable with before I tie the knot for the rest of my life.
  7. I’d only get to be a bride for a day. I’m obsessed with the idea of being a bride, but I haven’t wrapped my mind around that I would be a wife for the rest of my life. Being a bride lasts for one day, but marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. I’m only obsessed with the idea of walking down the aisle in a white dress, but I have to remember that it’s just a 20-minute ceremony.
  8. I have my wedding planned even though I’m not engaged. Weddings are supposed to be a joint effort between partners, but I already have every detail planned. I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m not ready to get married because I know deep down that it should be more about the person I’m marrying than the actual event.
  9. The excitement of planning is greater than the actual wedding. One of my favorite pastimes is scrolling through Pinterest and pinning wedding gowns and reception venues. The most fun part about getting married is the planning that leads up to the special day. When the day is over, it’s over. I’ll never get to experience the “fun” part ever again. That means I’m probably not ready to get married just yet.
  10. Just because I want to plan a wedding doesn’t mean I should have one. Being in love with weddings is dangerous because it can make you jump into a serious relationship when you’re not ready mentally or emotionally. I have to keep reminding myself that just because I’ve seen every episode of Say Yes to The Dress, it doesn’t mean that I should rush into an engagement.
If Giselle wasn’t a writer, she would probably be a sea nymph from Greek Mythology, a permanent resident in an Art Nouveau painting, or a professional exotic fruit taster. You can find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thecellophaneflower/.