I’m a pretty good catch but, for some reason, the guys I come across always make me feel like they’re doing me a favor. They’re not — and, at this point, I’m only willing to date guys who act like they’re lucky to have me. Isn’t that what a relationship should be? Two people who really appreciate other.
- I deserve a boyfriend who’s an actual friend. I’m sick of my female friends telling me about how perfect I am while all of the men in my life treat me like crap. I want a guy who sees me the same way that my best friends do, except with an added sexual element.
- Love the little things about me. I don’t want you to like the obvious things, like my boobs and blue eyes. I want you to love the little things about me I didn’t even realize existed, like the cute way I tilt my head when I read or how I hum whenever I hit a stoplight.
- Don’t make me feel like I’m privileged to have you. I shouldn’t jump for joy every single time you respond to a text message. I shouldn’t have to thank you again and again when you agree to meet my parents, either. I should expect you to do nice things — I shouldn’t be shocked when you do nice things.
- Show me you deserve me. If you realized how lucky you are to have me, then you wouldn’t cancel plans at the last second or fall asleep before I had the opportunity to orgasm. You’d make sure that I was taken care of. You’d do whatever you could to keep me happy.
- Tell me I’m amazing. I’m used to men complaining about how I nag them too much about chores or sound too desperate when I blow up their phone. It would be nice to hear someone talk about how sweet and sexy I am for a change. I already know I’m amazing, but I want to know that you know it.
- Love me for more than my looks. I don’t want to waste my time with losers anymore. If the only things you like about me are my upper and lower lips, then I don’t want to be with you. I want someone who loves my brain as much as he loves my body.
- Acknowledge all that I do. Most men don’t realize how much money I spend on my appearance, how long it takes me to clean the apartment, or how much energy it takes to do my job. But I want you to recognize how hard I work on a daily basis. I want you to tell me that you’re proud of me, even when I feel like a failure.
- Be the best boyfriend you can be. Put your full effort into our relationship. That’s all I ask of you. I just want you to enjoy the fact that you have a wonderful woman like me, while I enjoy the fact that I have a wonderful man like you, so we can live in mutual bliss.
