I’m not interested in getting all dressed up in uncomfortable clothes, spending a fortune on a night out, and most likely feeling hungover the next day. I’m cool with my love of staying in most of the time but I’m so tired of people calling me out for it. Here are nine obnoxious things people say to me when I decline their invitations to go out.
- “You’re only 28, not 58.” This is such a crappy thing to say because it implies that anyone in their fifties only wants to sit in with an afghan over their fuzzy knees and wait for death. I know plenty of older people who go out far more often than I ever did—and besides, 58 isn’t even all that old. To me, it doesn’t matter what age I am. If it makes me happy to stay in, why does anyone else care?
- “Stop aging yourself before your time.” I’m guilty of saying I’m “too old” for things anymore, which is my fault. What I should be saying is that I’m not interested in those things now because that’s what I actually mean. It’s not that I feel old and past it, I just have different priorities now. It has very little to do with aging myself beyond my years—I’ve always felt like an old soul and my age is finally catching up to how I feel inside. Why not embrace that?
- “You used to love going out—you’re so boring now.” Not one part of this is accurate. I’ve never loved going out, I simply tolerated it because everyone else wanted to do it. Now that I’m older and I’ve learned about who I am and what I want out of life, spending hours getting dolled up to have drinks spilled on me isn’t one of those things. Staying in might seem boring to you but to my introvert self, it’s how I recharge and something I feel I actually need in order to function properly.
- “Don’t you want to meet new people?” Not really, to be honest. I already feel like I don’t have enough time to dedicate to the people I already know and care about without adding new people to the list. I also have zero tolerance for leaches and I’m really not interested in hearing someone’s life story that I’ll never see again. That’s what Humans of New York is for, and I can read those stories from the comfort of my sofa, thank you very much.
- “You can’t hide indoors forever.” This is annoying because it implies that I’m hiding from something. I’m not—I’m just choosing to do what makes me happy and not wasting my time on things that don’t. I can be honest because I really know myself—can they say the same? How about taking a look at themselves before they judge me for something that really has nothing to do with them?
- “You should let your hair down more often.” This little gem assumes that I’m uptight and don’t know how to relax. Au contraire, my dear! I know exactly how to relax and let my hair down and it always involves a brilliant thriller movie, a heap of chocolate, and something green to smoke. I can honestly say that letting my hair down never makes me think of putting on blister-forming high heels and spending money on empty calories.
- “If you get bored at home, you could always do X, Y or Z.” It’s as if my friends and even my boyfriend thinks I have endless time on my hands when I’m at home and it’s their job to give me things to fill it. Even when I settle down to watch a movie and have some downtime, it’s not because I have nothing to do or I’m bored, it’s because I need a break from all the crap I still have to do. There’s always something that needs to be cleaned, work to catch up on, a book to be written, or a pedicure to be refreshed. I don’t need to spend my time honing my whistling skills or crafting my cigarette rolling techniques. Yes, those are actual “hobbies” my friends have suggested I do if I get bored at home.
- “You can sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I’m aware I can sleep when I’m dead, but that’s not really sleeping, is it? I’d much rather get a good night’s sleep while I’m alive and can enjoy the benefits of a fresh face and a bushy tail. I love sleeping—who are these people that don’t enjoy snuggling under a soft duvet and feeling relaxed?!
- “You should get out more.” Alright, enough is enough! If you can give me one good reason why I should get out more that actually benefits me, I might listen. More often than not, I find my lack of enthusiasm for going out makes people feel uncomfortable. I love hanging out with friends at a dinner party or catching up over coffee at their place but I’m also very happy being in my own company and I think that’s a great thing. If they’re not, that sounds like their problem, not mine.