I’ve previously dated many guys who didn’t know whether they really wanted to be with me or if they were better off playing the field a bit longer. Every one of those experiences sucked and I refuse to ever get myself in a situation like that again.
Nobody deserves a “maybe” kind of love. No one deserves that kind of love. If a guy isn’t 100% crazy for me, it just isn’t worth getting involved, in my opinion. After all, romantic rendezvous aren’t just tough when there are feelings involved — sometimes it’s even worse when there aren’t. It’s a waste of everybody’s time and effort and, being in my late twenties, I’m just not here for it anymore.
I’ve had bad experiences in the past. I’ve been romantically involved with guys many times before who have been umming and ahhing about me in the early stages of dating and it felt like a rejection before things even had the chance to get going. I mean, I get not being sure to start with about a person until you’ve had the chance to get to know each other, but if you’ve been seeing each other for a while, you must have an indication of how you feel about each other surely?
If he doesn’t choose you every day, there’ll be surefire signs. I’ve learned over the years that it’s pretty easy to spot the guys who are unsure about how they feel about me and our future together. How? Well, they’ll be non-committal in every sense. I’ll hardly see him, I’ll always have to text him first, and he won’t be upfront about his feelings for me. In fact, I probably won’t get anything reassuring from his behavior, but he’ll say what I want to hear to keep me hanging around as an option. I’ll also have to do all the work, from arranging dates to messaging him to check in, and it’ll feel exhausting the majority of the time.
I’m sick of feeling like an option. It’s not nice feeling like you’re one of many girls in the life of the guy you like or you’re just not liked enough to be made a priority. I’ve had my feelings seriously hurt in the past by prioritizing a guy who hasn’t done the same for me. The fact of the matter is that if he truly likes me, he won’t treat me as just any girl. He’ll treat me as the girl. There’s a major difference.
I deserve to be the main choice. I’m the heroine of my own life story so why shouldn’t I be treated as such? The way I see it is there shouldn’t be any kind of hesitation if a guy truly wants to progress our relationship. He should know that I’m special pretty early on in the dating stage and focus on me and me alone.
I believe in old-school chivalry. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m all about historical romance. I want a guy to dote on me and make me the center of his universe. I have self-worth and know that I’m a catch, therefore, if a guy isn’t making me feel like he definitely wants to be with me, then I’m out.
This principle applies to long term relationships too. I’ve also had relationships in the past where we’ve been together a long time (like over a year), lived together, and the guy has let his standards slip massively. He no longer made an effort for me or arranged fun date nights as he used to the beginning and it’s certainly not acceptable. After all, he shouldn’t get lazy just because he’s comfortable. Am I right?
I don’t care if I’m considered high maintenance. The heart wants what it wants, and if I’m going to be 100% happy in a relationship, I need my guy to be all in all the time. I deserve love, attention, and affection, and if he can’t give me these three things, he’s simply not the one for me.
I’m not bitter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be compatible with every guy out there. I get that. I just want to weed out the ones who don’t feel the same way about me as I do about them. I also refuse to settle for anything less than amazing. After all, life’s too short to waste time on the frogs—I’d rather hold out for the prince, thank you very much.