I Was In Relationships For So Long That I Nearly Forgot How Awesome I Am Alone

As much as I love the idea of being single, I find myself more in relationships more often than not. In the midst of all the romance and domesticity, I’ve found myself losing sight of how badass I am. That’s no good, so I’m making it a point to get back in touch with my own awesomeness whether I’m in a relationship or not.

  1. Serial monogamy is a pattern of mine. I’ve been in back-to-back relationships since I was about 14 and that leaves very little room for just me. I keep intending to be single and then along comes some amazing person and I just can’t help myself. I fall in love and then I’m back to the version of myself that exists within the cozy bubble of the relationship.
  2. I tend to lose myself in relationships. When this happens, I have the bad habit of losing myself. It makes sense since I don’t have the space to discover myself in between love affairs! I get so caught up in the whirlwind of romance that I forget to keep a hold of the awesome person that is me!
  3. After a solo vacation, I realized something. My boyfriend and I decided to take separate vacations this year and while I was off galavanting by myself, I realized how much I value my independence. Doing my own thing was refreshingly liberating, and while I adore my partner and his company, I also loved having time and space to myself. It was an empowering trip and has reminded me of what a kickass lady I am!
  4. I love spending time alone. Despite being a relationship junkie, I actually really enjoy my own company. I tend to forget this when I’m in the midst of a love affair, but whenever I take the time to be by myself, I really love it! The greatest thing about spending time alone is that I’m an excellent friend to myself. I listen attentively, have all the same interests, and laugh at all my jokes! What’s not to love?
  5. I’m rediscovering my creative drive. Since rediscovering my love of me-time, I’ve also put a lot more energy into my creative projects. These had fallen by the wayside for a while, but spending time alone helped realign me with my passions. It feels good to be back in touch with my creative drive—I feel a new surge of motivation to achieve the things I’ve been neglecting.
  6. There are hobbies I’ve almost forgotten about. Before I lived with my partner, I would spend hours alone just reading or writing or painting. Since we moved in together, I’ve busied myself more with our relationship and with joint projects. Since my solo trip, I’ve promised myself to carve out some time for my own personal hobbies again. It’s good for me to do things just for myself, and setting aside an hour a day just for my own indulgence gives me a sense of autonomy.
  7. Being in a different environment can be good for me. Aside from making alone time at home, it’s also really helpful to go out by myself too. Making my own friends, taking myself out on dates, going on trips alone—these are all great ways to rediscover my inherent awesomeness. I’m a different person in different contexts and sometimes just seeing myself in a new environment can be a great way to remember different facets of my personality.
  8. I get a lot more done when I’m alone. Surprise, surprise. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my partner, but you can have too much of a good thing. Spending time with another person automatically cuts out time that could be spent on other things. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I definitely notice my productivity goes down when I’m doting upon a lover. Sometimes I’m better off switching into boss mode and just getting stuff done.
  9. I’m learning to love myself. At the end of it all, the only person who will always be in my life is me, so I’d better learn to like myself! Spending more time alone, taking charge of my creative drive, finding things I enjoy and maintaining my life outside of my relationship are all ways of giving myself the love and respect I deserve. I love my partner and I love our relationship, but if I don’t remember to love myself in all of this, then I’ve missed the point.
is an open-hearted fellow human, lover of vulnerability, workshop facilitator and blogger, and perpetual student of the universe. She blogs over at https://liberationandlove.com about the beautiful experience that is being human. Through her writings, she takes great pleasure in delving into conscious community, sexuality, communication, and relationships, and loves to help others to do the same. You can find her on instagram as @jazz_meyer or @liberation.and.love
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