Many women stay in marriages they love—and still carry quiet regrets. Not about the vows or the partner, but about the parts of themselves they muted along the way. For generations, women have been taught that devotion means sacrifice, that peace means silence, and that love means putting everyone else first. But with time and perspective, many realize they would’ve done things differently—not to leave, but to stay on their own terms.
1. “After 35 Years Of Marriage, I Have Many Regrets.”
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Meet Linda, 64. She reveals that a lifetime of marriage has left her with many regrets.
“I’ve been married 35 years to a man I still love. We built a full life—raised children, navigated job changes, shared Sunday coffee rituals, and long-haul flights. Now, looking back with the clarity that only age brings, I see how many parts of myself I set aside to make that life work.
I gave my time, energy, and voice until I barely recognized myself. I rarely spoke up when something hurt or felt wrong because I didn’t want to start a fight or seem ungrateful. Do I regret staying? No. But I regret many things and wish I could have my time over.” —Linda Jackson, Houston
Continue reading about the regrets many women have after a lifetime of marriage >>
2. I Regret Getting Married So Young
Many women look back and realize that getting married at a young age left little room for self-discovery. They were still figuring out who they were and what they wanted out of life, but the weight of commitment sometimes pushed those explorations aside. As they grew and changed, it became clear that the person they were at 20 was vastly different from who they became a decade later. According to Psychology Today, marrying young can often lead to feeling like you missed out on crucial self-exploration.
Marrying young often means growing up together, but it doesn’t always mean growing together. Some women realize that they missed out on experiences or opportunities because they tied themselves to another person too soon. They may feel like they didn’t get a chance to fully understand themselves before committing to understanding someone else.
3. I Regret Trying To Rush Through Every Milestone
There’s a certain pressure to tick off life’s major milestones—marriage, kids, homeownership—all in quick succession. Looking back, some women wish they hadn’t been in such a hurry to achieve it all. The desire to “have it all” led to a rushed pace, leaving little time to actually enjoy each phase of life as it came. According to The Atlantic, slowing down and embracing each life stage can lead to greater satisfaction.
Reflecting on it now, they realize that slowing down might have brought more happiness and less stress. Instead of rushing from one life event to another, they could have taken more time to truly experience each stage. Building a life together shouldn’t feel like a checklist, but sometimes the pressure to keep up can make it seem that way.
4. I Regret Not Savoring The Honeymoon Period
The early days of marriage are often filled with excitement, passion, and new experiences. However, some women regret not soaking up that phase more fully. Whether it was due to starting a family right away or jumping into work commitments, they didn’t truly embrace the honeymoon period for what it was—a unique, fleeting time of building intimacy and connection. According to HuffPost, appreciating the honeymoon phase can strengthen long-term relationships.
Years down the line, they look back and wish they’d spent more time enjoying those carefree moments. Instead of savoring the joy of just being together, life’s demands pulled them in different directions. In hindsight, dedicating more energy to nurturing that early closeness could have laid a stronger foundation for the challenges that followed.
5. I Regret Not Traveling With Friends When I Was Young
Before life became full of responsibilities, there was a window of time where adventure was still within reach. Many women regret not taking that time to travel with friends—exploring new places, making spontaneous decisions, and creating memories that would last a lifetime. Once marriage and family entered the picture, those opportunities became harder to grasp. According to Travel + Leisure, traveling with friends in your youth can create lasting bonds and unforgettable experiences.
Looking back, they wish they’d embraced that freedom while they had it. It wasn’t just about seeing new places—it was about solidifying friendships and experiencing life without the weight of adult obligations. While they wouldn’t trade their current lives, the sense of missing out on those youthful adventures still lingers.
6. I Regret Letting Important Friendships Slide
Marriage can take up so much space that maintaining friendships becomes an afterthought. Some women find themselves regretting how they let once-close connections fade away, especially when life got busy. Whether it was because of family demands or prioritizing their partner, they lost touch with people who had been like family.
Now, years later, they realize that nurturing friendships shouldn’t have taken a back seat. Friends offer support, perspective, and a sense of identity outside of the marriage. Letting those bonds slip away left a gap that can be hard to fill when life inevitably brings challenges.
7. I Regret Moving Around For My Husband’s Job
For some women, supporting their husband’s career meant frequent relocations, often sacrificing their own professional growth or social connections. Looking back, they feel like they gave up too much of their own stability and identity for the sake of the marriage. Each move meant starting over, building new networks, and sometimes feeling isolated.
Though they wanted to be supportive, they now see how constantly uprooting their lives took a toll. They wish they had advocated more for their own career goals or found a better balance between being supportive and maintaining their own sense of purpose.
8. I Regret Not Slowing Down And Enjoying The Kids When They Were Young
Raising kids can feel like a whirlwind, and some women realize they were so caught up in keeping things running smoothly that they didn’t take the time to just be present. Between school runs, work commitments, and endless to-do lists, the precious, fleeting moments of childhood slipped by too quickly.
They look back and wish they had paused more often to simply enjoy their children’s company without worrying about the next task. Now that the kids are older, there’s a sense of longing for those simple, joyful moments that were sometimes overlooked in the rush of daily life.
9. I Regret Not Forging A Closer Friendship With My Husband
Building a life together can sometimes overshadow building a friendship within the marriage. Some women regret that they didn’t take more time to just hang out, laugh, and get to know their husband on a deeper, more personal level. Instead, the focus was on responsibilities and routines, leaving little space for spontaneity and connection.
They now see how being best friends would have strengthened their partnership during the tough times. Looking back, they wish they had made more effort to simply enjoy each other’s company without always being in “problem-solving” mode.
10. I Regret Not Trying To Understand My Husband Better
Some women look back and realize they didn’t put enough effort into truly understanding their husband’s perspective. In the midst of daily stressors and routines, it was easier to make assumptions or get frustrated rather than dig deeper into why he felt or acted a certain way. Over time, this lack of curiosity created a gap that was hard to bridge.
Reflecting on it now, they recognize that understanding doesn’t mean agreeing, but it does mean making space for someone else’s experiences. A little more patience and a willingness to see things from his point of view could have made communication smoother. They wish they had asked more questions, listened more intently, and been open to understanding his world without judgment.
11. I Regret Not Knowing My Husband’s Love Language Or My Own
Love languages are a simple concept, but not knowing them can cause a lot of misunderstandings in a marriage. Some women regret that they didn’t take the time to learn what made their husband feel loved and appreciated. Maybe he showed love through acts of service while they preferred words of affirmation, leading to a mismatch in how love was expressed and received.
Now, they understand that figuring out both their own and their partner’s love languages could have prevented a lot of frustration. Knowing how to give and receive love in a way that felt meaningful to both would have strengthened their bond. It’s a small insight, but it could have made a big difference in feeling connected and valued.
12. I Regret Not Going To Therapy Before And During The Marriage
Therapy often feels like a last resort, but some women now wish they had gone to counseling much earlier—both individually and as a couple. Talking through issues before they became crises could have fostered better communication and a deeper understanding of each other’s needs. Waiting until things were already falling apart made it harder to rebuild.
They realize now that therapy isn’t just for fixing problems—it’s for maintaining a healthy relationship. Addressing concerns before they fester could have made navigating challenges less daunting. Looking back, they wish they had prioritized emotional growth and invested in learning how to communicate effectively before things became overwhelming.
