I Won’t Settle Down Until I’ve Done These 11 Things

I have a wonderful boyfriend and while he’s ready to marry me, I’m not ready to tie the knot just yet. There’s so much I need to do and learn before I settle down, so I think I’ll enjoy unwed bliss for a while longer until I cross these things off my list.

  1. Learn how to cook I’ve never been drawn to cooking. The whole process just seems exhausting. I have to pick one recipe from millions of recipes, go grocery shopping, and then spend an hour or so preparing the food? Ew. The worst part is that it only takes half that time to actually eat the food! And don’t get me started on having to clean up the mess. Cooking sounds annoying but it’s something I need to be decent at before I settle down. Not for my husband, though—I need this skill for myself!
  2. Buy something I definitely don’t need Even though my current income isn’t super impressive, I know it’s way more disposable than the income I’ll have when I get married and have a family. Right now, I can blow hundreds on a handbag without anyone saying anything about it. It’s a magical time to be alive and I need to take advantage of those splurges while I still can.
  3. Finish my educational aspirations I’m not saying people can’t continue their education while also taking care of their family but it can’t be easy. Right now, I have a lot of extra time that I should use to finally complete my educational goals. I only need three more Spanish classes to have a minor. I should finish that now so it’s one less thing I’ll have to juggle later.
  4. Take advantage of my freedom Whether that means staying out all night with my friends or quitting my job and moving to France, I want to make sure I’m taking advantage of my freedom before I start co-existing with another person. It’s not that I think getting married will suddenly rob me of my independence, but let’s not pretend that life doesn’t seriously change when you have to consider another person in every decision you make.
  5. Make sure I know who I am Who I am is constantly changing and I know that’s only going to continue as I learn and grow. However, I want to make sure I know the values I stand for and the goals I’m not willing to compromise on before I settle down. I want to walk into marriage being 100% comfortable and confident with who I am.
  6. Strengthen my friendships I want to build on the friendships I’ve had since I was a kid to make sure they’re strong enough to make it in the future. In order for me to settle down, I need a good support system. After all, marriage can’t last without people in your corner. My future husband and I need friends cheering us on and providing sound advice when we need it.
  7. Have my heart broken I’ve never really had my heart broken before. I’ve been dumped but none of those break-ups really impacted me—I don’t think I really loved those exes. People say having your heart broken builds character and that’s something I wish I had experience with; if only to say I grew from it.
  8. Travel solo and expand my worldview I don’t want to travel for the sake of traveling. I want to travel and learn something new about myself. Whether that means going somewhere I’ve never been before or talking to people from different backgrounds while I’m there. I want to become more open-minded so I can better communicate with my future husband and family.
  9. Accomplish the big goals I’ve had for years It’s so easy to alter plans for someone else, especially when you love that person. I’ve been guilty of that more times than I’m proud of and although compromise is key, there are things I definitely want to accomplish and I need to make sure I do before I’m legally attached to another person.
  10. Learn to be 100% independent I want to have my finances in order first! It’s simple really, I don’t want to be that person relying on my spouse or significant other to pay my bills. I’m not saying I want all my loans to be paid off before I walk down the aisle (that would take decades) but I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck.
  11. Have a serious talk with my boyfriend My boyfriend and I need to have a serious talk about what our life would look like if we were married. What goals would we want to accomplish together? Do our timelines match when it comes to having kids, buying a house, and everything like that? I know the future can change but I’d like to have at least a loose outline of my life before I settle down.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.