Being a mom sounds awesome, but it would be even more amazing if the guy I’m dating could carry our babies. Frankly, I don’t think I can deal with the idea of pregnancy, and certainly not the reality.
- I hate doctors and hospitals. If I was pregnant, I know that I’d have to see my doctor regularly for ultrasounds and checkups. I have a huge doctor and hospital phobia, so that would be really tough to deal with.
- It’s something unknown. As someone who’s no stranger to anxiety, I don’t like the idea of not knowing what’s going to happen to me. Pregnancy is a big question mark. Sure, there are some things you can say will likely happen, but the rest is unknown. Not all pregnant women have the same experiences, which freaks me out. I want to know exactly what I’m dealing with. I don’t like surprises, especially when it comes to my body.
- Weird things can happen. I’ve heard stories of women’s hair changing and feet changing due to pregnancy. WTF? Apparently, there are lots of different things that can happen to one’s body after giving birth. I don’t know if I’m up to those surprises, some of which can last forever.
- Will my body ever look the same again? Okay, so breast shape might change as well as weight, but does a woman’s body ever bounce back to normal post-birth? I have a hard time sticking to an exercise routine now—imagine how badly I’d cope when it came time to lose loads of baby weight. Ugh.
- Carrying a baby for nine months is no joke. It’s almost a year of carrying a baby around. I’d be paranoid of doing anything at all, like driving or even shopping. It would feel like I have an atomic bomb inside me, ready to go off at any second. I don’t know if I can deal.
- I’m responsible for the life inside me. If something were to go wrong with the pregnancy, God forbid, I’d be the only one to blame. That’s what it would feel like, anyway. I don’t know if I can be responsible for another life. Mine is enough, thank you.
- I’m a hypochondriac. It doesn’t help that I’ve always been super anxious about medical stuff and worried I have all the scary medical conditions out there (Thanks, WebMD). Having a baby inside me would just multiply that fear. I’d worry that something was going to go wrong or my baby wouldn’t develop properly. Then, the stress of that would be bad for the baby, so I’d be caught in a vicious cycle. Arrrgh!
- Random people would want to touch my belly. Have you ever noticed how strangers will just rock up to a pregnant woman and want to talk to her about her pregnancy and touch her belly? It’s so gross! I don’t want anyone I don’t know touching me. I can’t even handle going for a massage.
- I’ve witnessed the “pregnant woman freakout” and it’s not pretty. I once knew a woman who freaked out during her pregnancy because she thought she’d made a big mistake. I had to talk her down and remind her of the beauty and gift of having kids, but honestly, all I could think was, “Thank God that’s not me.” I mean, I get anxious about other people being pregnant.
- I wouldn’t be able to take meds. There are some meds you can’t take if you’re pregnant because they could harm your baby. I’m not keen on meds generally, but what if I really needed them? The thought of not having painkillers for nine months freaks me out! I mean, how do we really know some painkillers are safe for unborn babies? And advice on the internet suggests using cold compresses for headaches. Seriously? Oh my God, I’d die.
- My stylish wardrobe would suffer. I love fashion and enjoy wearing gorgeous pieces of clothing that boost my self-confidence. I know that maternity wear looks much better than it used to, but dressing up a baby bump is still hard AF. I don’t know if I’d ever feel good with such a big belly and don’t think I could handle not being able to wear high heels.
- I don’t like being uncomfortable. There are so many things that can make pregnant women uncomfortable when they’re expecting, like nausea, vomiting, not being able to sleep, their bodies feeling strange as it stretches to accommodate a growing baby… Excuse me, I think I need to go lie down for a few minutes.
- I want to eat my favorite foods. There are some foods that are strictly off the menu when expecting. These foods include some fish (which I don’t care about because I’m vegetarian) but others that I really, really love. Examples include caffeine (there’s NO WAY I can give up my favorite tea for nine months), soft cheese (excuse me? I’m Italian!), and peanut butter because it’s said that eating peanuts could possibly cause your baby to have a peanut allergy. I don’t think I could make such changes to my diet for almost a year.
- The grand finale would be the excruciating pain of labor. After nine months of dealing with horrible side-effects, the reward is to go through with painful labor. Did I mention I’m not that great with pain and freaked out by medical procedures? If I changed my mind, I couldn’t turn back. That baby would have to come out one way or another, which basically means I’d be screwed. No thanks—I don’t think motherhood is for me.
