Thanks to a perfect storm of a crazy work schedule and a beach vacation, I recently took a break from actively dating. While I’m not above taking a breather from the weirdness and stress of first dates, the involuntary hiatus really didn’t work for me. I’d rather go on bad dates than none at all — here’s why:
- I don’t meet guys IRL. If I don’t actively go on dates, my perfect (or even imperfect) guy won’t just materialize at a friend’s birthday party or at the grocery store. I never meet any guys, so going on zero dates is not really an option since I’d like to find love in the next century or so.
- I learn from every crappy date. Truly. Whether it’s that it’s okay to leave early if the guy is insulting you or to really listen when a guy says he’s a dating app addict, I learn from every first date I go on. It’s all part of the journey.
- I can get bitter really fast. I’m a massive coach potato and proud of it. But combine working hard with a TV addiction and before I know it, I start believing that there’s zero point to dating because I’ll never find anyone. That’s not the mental space I want to be in and it’s not even what I actually think. I need to keep going on dates to keep moving forward and to stay positive.
- Not every date is a disaster. Some are actually kind of fun — or least don’t have me wanting to make a run of it before drinks are even ordered. An almost-there date is enough to make me want to keep trying, because maybe the next one will be 100 percent there.
- Giving up is too simple. Sure, my life is full and amazing. I honestly have everything I want — except for the whole love part. It would be way too easy to kiss dating goodbye forever and stop searching, but that doesn’t make any sense. Why give up when people fall in love all the time?
- Being social feels better. At the end of the day, going on a first date is basically a social occasion, and there’s nothing wrong with meeting new people and seeing if you click. Even if I never see the guy again, I like meeting someone that I might not have the opportunity to.
- Setting up the date is all I can do. After a ton of awful evenings, I’ve figured out that all anyone can control is the time and place of a first date. The rest is up to fate or the universe or how much of a jerk someone is. So when I think of it like that, dates are no big deal.
- I’m forever hopeful. Am I one slightly awkward first date away from my soulmate — or at least my next BF? Who knows, but I’m always hoping that will definitely be the case. If I go on zero dates, that won’t happen.
