I’d Rather Play It Safe Than Keep Getting Hurt

Lately, I’ve noticed more and more of my peers choosing friendships over romances, and I can’t say I blame them. It’s become more appealing to me too over the years since at least my friends bring me joy instead of pain. All that dating brings is a whole lot of confusion and heartache and frankly, I’m over it.

  1. I used to be super hopeful and romantic, but not anymore. I thought I’d meet the perfect man and he would totally love me and appreciate me forever and ever. Ha! That’s not real life. Now I’m nearing my mid-thirties and the situation looks darker by the day.
  2. I find friends more fulfilling than lovers. I have a wonderful circle of close friends and I consider myself incredibly lucky. I’m surrounded by such terrific people than any guy I date has a whole lot to live up to—and honestly, they usually don’t. Spending time with my buddies is way better than dating.
  3. I like hanging out with people I already know I enjoy. My friends all have one thing in common: none of them ever hurt me! Why would I ever go out with a guy and deal with all the drama of a relationship when I know I can have pain-free fun with people who make me happy?
  4. I’m tired of getting my hopes up only to be let down. Dating causes too many mood swings. I’m high on the excitement of meeting someone new only to fall into sadness and frustration when, as usual, it doesn’t work out. In my normal, everyday life, I’m happy and level all the time. I like keeping it that way.
  5. It’s easier to be safe. I know that I’m supposed to remain vulnerable and open, but I’m tired of giving my heart over to men who don’t understand or appreciate it. I can explore communication and trust with friends in the same way, but without the threat of heartbreak. That feels much better.
  6. Love is honestly really overrated. I’ve always been so in love with the idea of love, but as I got older, the harsh realities kicked in. There’s a lot to be said for living a simple, happy, single life. I don’t have to compromise on what I want or deal with anyone else’s shit. I also hardly ever cry!
  7. I like having all the good in life and none of the bad. I have an awesome life. I love my jobs, I’m surrounded by amazing humans, and I really enjoy my city. I am happy and healthy. I definitely appreciate all of it and I don’t see the need to add unnecessary drama, which is all boyfriends ever are.
  8. I’m done extending myself. My generation has gotten extremely lazy about dating. It’s so much easier to go about our regular lives that we hardly even bother anymore. I was making a real effort for a while, but when I realized that I was the only one, I decided to cut it out. What’s the point?
  9. I need someone to prove he’s all-in before I even consider caring. That might sound selfish and unreasonable, but I’m tired of always ending up with passive men who don’t even meet me halfway. I feel like the only way to know that a guy is worth it is if he actively pursues me. I’m no longer taking risks.
  10. I’ve gotten too cynical to keep trying. I’ve had too many years of failure to keep putting myself out there. Honestly, I’m tired. I’d rather just sit back and enjoy the life I’ve created, with or without a partner. I don’t care if I get married and I don’t want kids, so it’s not that bad.
  11. If everyone else is too busy to date, so am I. I have a lot going on—more than most of the people I know who are “too busy” to date. If that’s the case, then why not focus on my career and my own personal happiness? I’m not getting any joy from dating anyway, only trouble and heartache.
  12. I like my bubble—it’s nice in here. I swear, literally every time I let myself feel something for a man, it makes me miserable. I enjoy my comfort zone. Why would I mess with something that’s working? Once in a while I get a bit sad and wish for the company of a dude, but it’s nothing like the pain I feel when a guy hurts me.
  13. The aftermath is never worth the brief joy beforehand. I hate to have to say this, but I can honestly state that I have never experienced any love that was so wonderful that it was worth all the heartbreak that followed when I lost it. I’d rather stay single forever than go through all that now. It’s too hard.
  14. I find way more happiness in the consistency of my life. I’m an adventurous person and I have a lot going on. At the same time, I have a lot of consistency—a place I like living, amazing resources at my fingertips, jobs that fulfill me, and most importantly, wonderful people who support me. I’ll take that over a risky, drama-filled romance any day.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.