I’d Rather Be Rejected Than Have A Guy Lead Me On

Nobody likes to be rejected, but you know what’s way worse? Having a guy lead me on. Rejection might bruise my ego for a few minutes, but I’ll be over it by the next day. If a man doesn’t have feelings for me or just isn’t interested, I’d rather him tell me straight up—here’s why:

  1. I don’t want to waste any more time. Not on a guy who’s not actually interested in me. I’ve already lost years in relationships where we both saw a future that never came. I don’t want to be subjected to losing even more time to a guy who knows were not meant to be from the very beginning. If he has any decency at all, he’ll reject me the second he knows we’re not right for each other.
  2. I deserve to know exactly how a man feels. I shouldn’t be blind to how a man really feels about me. Why does love have to be a guessing game? I don’t want to constantly wonder about how he feels when he could simply tell me that that there’s nothing there. I’d rather know the truth than live a lie, and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
  3. I’m always upfront about what I want and what I’m looking for. A guy could never claim that he didn’t know I had feelings for him or that I wanted a real relationship. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m always honest about my what I want. I’m not afraid to get rejected. In fact, I give men every chance to reject me because if they know what I’m thinking, they should be able to tell me if we’re on the same page.
  4. My self-confidence can handle rejection. I’m not so fragile as to break every time a guy says I’m just not the girl for him. If we’re not meant to be, then so be it. I believe in fate and I believe in the idea of “The One,” so getting rejected is just crossing another man off the list. Every Mr. Wrong gets me one step closer to Mr. Right. I’m not interested in every guy I meet, so I’m not so conceited as to believe every man will be interested in me. Rejection might be personal but it doesn’t have to be cruel and I don’t take it personally.
  5. I don’t want to have to convince a man to be with me. If a guy is leading me on then I’m going to think we’re headed down one path when clearly he knows we’re headed nowhere together. Eventually, I’ll start asking for more. Things won’t progress and I’ll either have to convince him of how amazing I am or chalk it up to a fear of commitment I have to walk away from. Either I lose my dignity or my heart breaks. It’s a lose-lose situation.
  6. I’d rather get back out there and find someone who does want to be with me. If he doesn’t like me then the faster he throws me back into the dating pool, the faster I’ll find a guy who does. I don’t want to miss out on someone amazing just because some dude who isn’t really into me is keeping me tangled up.
  7. Rejection is so much better than heartbreak. Rejection might sting a little but heartbreak is practically unbearable. I’ve had my heart broken before and I know from experience that rejection is a hell of a lot easier to get over. In fact, the sooner a guy tells me he’s not interested (or no longer interested), the better because the more time I invest in someone the more it hurts to part ways.
  8. I don’t want to invest myself into a man who isn’t doing the same for me. Why should I waste an effort on a guy who already thinks I’m not worth the effort? Relationships are all about give and take. I want to get out just as much as I put in—that’s how love should be. I don’t want to work for a relationship with a man who isn’t 100 percent interested in having a relationship with me.
  9. I deserve better than to be a guy’s backup plan. I don’t want to be kept around for a “just in case” scenario. I’m so much better than sticking around just to be his second choice. I don’t want to settle for a guy who thinks that he’s settling by being with me. I’m an amazing woman, a total catch, and I deserve a man who sees that, not one who keeps me on the bench.
  10. This is one case where a guy has to be cruel to be kind. Sure, asking someone to reject me might be asking for an emotional jab in the heart, but in the long run, it’s the better thing to do for both of us. I won’t go on pining after a guy who has absolutely no interest in me and he won’t feel the cruelty of leading on someone that he has no plans of ever dating. If we both just wash our hands of each other in the beginning then we’re both given the chance to move on.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.