If you’re a regular on the dating scene, you probably hear your fair share of BS coming from the mouths of the guys you go out with. However, instead of rolling your eyes and keeping it moving, why not call them out on this crap while you’re at it? Maybe they’ll think twice about spewing this garbage in future if you do.
- “I’m too busy for a relationship right now.” He’s not too busy to meet up with you for a quick hookup several times a week but he’s too busy to actually call you his girlfriend or hang out when you’re on your period and there’s no chance of sex? Buuuuullcraaaaaap.
- “I was SO drunk, I don’t even remember what happened.” If a guy uses how wasted he is to explain shady behavior, there’s a serious issue. It’s not that he can’t remember, it’s that he can and he did something (or many things) he knows he wasn’t supposed to. Whether it was cheating on you or otherwise acting like an ass, he’s full of crap.
- “She’s just my friend!” Similar to the above but obviously pertains specifically to either outright being unfaithful or skirting the edges of what’s appropriate when you’re in a relationship. Particularly if this comes unprompted, she’s definitely not just his friend and it’s only a matter of time before he either dumps you for her or you find unquestionable proof that he’s been sleeping with her behind your back. Don’t put up with that.
- “You’re not like other girls.” A guy who says this is basically feeding you a total bologna sandwich. What does it even mean? There is no one way for a woman to be, and frankly, all of us are awesome, so being differentiated from our gender isn’t particularly a compliment. Dudes who say this think they’re giving you the best compliment ever, but really they’re being disingenuous and/or basically thanking you for being agreeable/not calling them out on their crap. Be like other girls, girl.
- “I’m actually a really nice guy.” Again, if this was true, he wouldn’t have to say it. This is a guy’s lame attempt to make you think he’s not going to pull the same crap that other toxic a-holes have before him. In fact, the “I’m a nice guy” statement is a pretty big indicator that he’s the total opposite, so let him know you see through his nonsense ASAP.
- “I mean, we’re just having fun, right?” This tends to come out when you’ve been dating for several weeks or even a couple of months, particularly if you bring up the idea of becoming exclusive/giving what you’ve got going on the relationship a label. You probably were having fun until he pulled this crap. It might be ultimatum time here: get real or get out.
- “I don’t deserve you.” If he says this while he’s telling you he wants to see other people or end things, he’s doing you a favor and stating the truth—he definitely doesn’t deserve you. It’s also a load of meaningless BS meant to, I don’t know, make you feel better that he’s had his fun with you and now he’s over it? Let him know he’s right about being unworthy and then walk away.
- “I just have a lot going on right now.” Uh, don’t we all, dude? This is another excuse to try and deflect from commitment and it’s BS that needs to be called out. If he considers having a job and paying bills “a lot going on,” he needs a reality check—and probably his mom rather than a girlfriend. Don’t buy this trash.
- “Wow, you’re acting crazy right now—calm down.” Unless you’re coming at homeboy with a knife in your hand or setting fire to his car, you’re likely not acting crazy at all. You’re probably just expressing normal human emotions, likely in reaction to some BS he pulled, and he’s trying to deflect. That’s a no from me, dawg. Call out this misogynist crap and don’t let him get away with it.