A man who struggles with self-confidence can project his insecurities onto you. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has zero confidence and is wildly insecure, you’ve probably noticed these 15 behaviors, which can be very taxing.
1. He’s Always Fishing for Compliments
If he needs you to reassure him about everything, how he looks, his work, or your feelings for him, it’s a sign his confidence is on the floor. A confident guy doesn’t need constant praise or validation to feel good about himself; he knows that’s an inside job.
2. He’s the Jealous Type
A little jealousy is normal, even healthy, but it’s a red flag if he gets worked up every time you talk to another guy or even mention an old friend. That’s his insecurity, making him feel like he’s not enough, and it shows up as jealousy.
3. He Tries to Control Everything
Control is usually triggered by fear. If he’s trying to manage every aspect of you and the relationship, from what you do to who you see, it’s because he feels out of control himself. A confident man doesn’t need to micromanage your life to feel secure in the relationship.
4. He Closes Down When Confrontation Strikes
He lacks the confidence to deal with conflict if he avoids difficult conversations like the plague or refuses to express his needs and feelings. Instead of addressing issues head-on, he lets things fester because he doesn’t want to rock the boat or doesn’t believe his feelings are valid.
5. He’s His Own Worst Critic
Anyone who constantly makes self-deprecating comments or downplays their achievements isn’t humble; they are underconfident. A man who believes in himself doesn’t belittle his success or abilities; he owns and celebrates them.
6. He Gets Defensive Fast
A confident guy can handle criticism constructively and like a champ, but a man lacking self-confidence will get defensive fast. He feels attacked even when you’re just trying to talk things through because, deep down, he’s insecure about his worth and feels like you’ve seen through him.
7. He’s Always Comparing Himself to Others
Whether it’s your ex, friends, or some random guy on Instagram, if a man constantly compares himself to others, it shows that he’s not secure in who he is. Someone confident knows his value without needing to measure it against anyone else.
8. He Apologizes Way Too Much
Apologizing for everything can be a way to avoid conflict or a signal someone doesn’t feel deserving of the relationship. If “I’m sorry” is his go-to response even when things aren’t his fault, it’s a sign he’s feeling unsure of himself and needs to work on his self-esteem.
9. He’s Super Judgy of You
A man who lacks self-confidence will often project his insecurities onto his partner. If he’s always nitpicking or pointing out your flaws, it reflects how he feels about himself. Criticism and acting judgy are a defense mechanism for his self-doubt.
10. He is Suffocating
If he’s super clingy and overly needy, he’s terrified of losing you. He might not feel confident that you will stay interested in him, and he can’t handle time apart. A confident man doesn’t need to be glued to your side to feel good about the relationship; he has realized that independence in a relationship is necessary.
11. He Can’t Handle Your Success
If he doesn’t seem all that thrilled when something amazing happens or is going well for you, he could be threatened by your achievements. This is an indication he’s not feeling secure or successful himself. A confident man will celebrate your wins because he doesn’t consider them a reflection of his shortcomings.
12. He’s Indecisive to the Max
If he defers to you on everything—from what to eat to bigger life decisions—he lacks confidence in his judgment. A confident guy can make decisions without second-guessing himself or needing someone else to take the lead.
13. He Overcompensates by Bragging
On the other hand, a man who lacks confidence might overcompensate by talking himself up. Whether he exaggerates his achievements or tries to sound more successful or together than he is, this behavior is often a cover for insecurity.
14. He Shuts Down Emotionally
Does he shut down shop when things get tough? A man who lacks self-confidence might close off emotionally when there’s an issue because he doesn’t know how to express his feelings or is afraid of being vulnerable or rejected. A confident man can talk about what’s bothering him openly and honestly and wants to find a solution.
15. He’s Happy with the Relationship Status Quo
If he never wants to take a risk or move the relationship to the next level, he’s either a commitment phobe or underconfident. Whether it’s moving forward, trying new things together, or making long-term plans, if he can’t take a leap, it’s because he’s not confident enough to handle uncertainty. A confident man is willing to take chances in love and has no issue stepping outside his comfort zone, as he knows the rewards are worth the risk.
