If You Give Me Mixed Signals, I’m Out

Things seem to be going well with us and I really like you, but I’m still not 100 percent sure we’re on the same page. You’re a bit all over the place, and I’m not picking flower petals to figure out how you feel. I don’t do mixed signals — if you really like me, I should be able to tell.

  1. I want a man who cares enough to tell me how he feels. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. It’s actually pretty damn simple, if you think about it. If you have real feelings for me then you won’t be afraid to express those feelings and show them through your actions. If you’re not sure, say so and I’ll move on to someone who’s a bit more mature and ready for something real.
  2. I trust my gut. If my gut is saying you don’t like me enough (or at all), then I’m going to trust that over my heart. My heart wishes you were Prince Charming, but my head knows you’re probably just another player. If I have no idea what to think about you, that’s a problem too. In those situations, my gut feeling is that I need to get out ASAP before I end up getting hurt.
  3. If you’re sending mixed signals, you probably don’t really know what you want. That’s not good enough for me. I want a man who’s certain because I know that love isn’t a maybe kind of thing. You either like me or you don’t. You’re either interested or you’re not. It’s really not all that complicated.
  4. If you really like me, you’ll make a move. If you can’t even pluck up the courage to ask me out then you don’t want to date me that badly. I want a guy who wouldn’t risk missing his shot to be with me. I can try to put the pieces together and figure out if you’re just trying to be subtle or something, but at the end of the day, nothing’s going to change if you’re not willing to make a move.
  5. I know what I want and I know how to show it. You won’t get any mixed signals from me. I’m not going to tell you I like you or act interested in you and then go flirt with another guy. I’m no player. I’m a one man at a time kind of girl. If I feel a spark then I’m going to focus my attention on you because I want a real relationship and I’m not afraid to act like a girl looking for love.
  6. I don’t want to feel like I’m just another girl. If I’m made out to feel like every other woman in your life then it’s pretty damn clear I am just another woman in your life. I want to feel special. I want to feel like your one and only. When we’re together, I should feel like the only girl in the room, the only girl you want. What’s the use in dating you otherwise?
  7. I need a man who knows how to communicate. I’ve been with way too many men who don’t know how to communicate what they want or how they feel and I’m not going through that kind of BS again. Relationships are built on solid communication, but if you can’t even properly express how you feel then we’re never going to work. If you want me to invest in you, then you have to be willing to open up and invest your feelings in me too.
  8. I want a guy who wouldn’t even risk the chance of not having me in his life. If you can’t show how you feel, then you’re accepting the possibility that we might never become something. I don’t want a guy who’s willing to risk that. I want a guy who will outright show and tell me how he feels because he doesn’t want to miss out on the chance that I feel the same. Guys who send mixed signals are willing to lose me, and if that’s true then I’m happier not knowing how they feel.
  9. Actions speak louder than words. Even if you tell me that you like me, that’s never going to be enough unless you can show me too. You can’t be sweet half of the time and blow me off the rest of the time. I care more about how you act than about what you say because you can tell me you like me all you want, but words are just words unless you have the actions to back them up.
  10. If I can’t tell if you like me, I’m moving on. I’m not going to waste my time if I’m not sure you’re really interested in me. I’m not so desperate for love that I need to throw myself at you. I don’t have time to waste on a guy who can’t make me a clear priority in his life. Your move.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.