If He Doesn’t Date Me, He Has No Right To Be Jealous Of Men Who Do

A guy might show interest in me, but if he’s not making a move, he’d better not think I’m going to sit around waiting for him. I’ll be out there finding my own love story and living it up. Here are 15 reasons why he needs to take his jealousy and GTFO of my life:

  1. He just wants what can’t have. It’s convenient that he only wants me when I’m unavailable. I guarantee that if I had to be single, he wouldn’t even make a move on me. Hey, we’ve been there before and we never got together, so why would now be any different?
  2. He’s addicted to the chase. When we sort of dated, he was keen to get my interest. The second my feelings started to get serious, he bolted. Now he can see that I’ve moved on and he’s resenting it, but that’s his own damn fault.
  3. He didn’t miss out. He gave away the chance to be with me ages ago by not getting into a relationship with me when we were both single. It’s so funny when he now tells me that I’m the one who got away—no, he’s the one who made me walk away because he wasn’t giving me any reason to stay!
  4. He’s insecure AF. He comes across as confident, always surrounded by women who would love to date him, but I think that deep down he’s actually really insecure. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have to call up some old flames to check that they’re available so he can feel better about himself. Pathetic, really.
  5. His feelings don’t matter to me at all. He can be jealous of me being with someone else—that’s his choice—but I really don’t care about his feelings. In fact, hearing that he’s jealous just makes my stomach turn because it’s such a disgusting attempt to try to regain control of me.
  6. Who does he think he is? I don’t know who he thinks he is trying to sway me with his supposedly “jealous” feelings. I wonder if he’s jealous at all. He’s probably just trying to make me feel sorry for him or thinking that by telling me he’s jealous of my relationship success, I’ll think that he wants me. Newsflash: I actually don’t care if he does or doesn’t. He’s not important to me at all and I wouldn’t want him in a million years.
  7. He’s a coward. He didn’t have the balls to make a move on me back when we were dating, so now if he’s expressing jealousy about me being with someone else, that’s his problem.
  8. He doesn’t even know yourself. He was never open about what he wanted and he always communicated through mixed messages. Now his jealousy is just another confusing signal. I think he doesn’t even know what he feels or what he wants but gone are the days when I’d allow him to drag me into his confusion.
  9. His flirting is pathetic. It’s ridiculous how he can still try to flirt with me when I’m no longer on his dating horizon. He probably thinks he can use charm and fake some interest to keep me hanging around, but that’s never going to happen.
  10. He’s a love vulture. He knows when to swoop in and try to get me to like him again just when I’ve moved on. The minute I become available to him, he disappears. He doesn’t actually want me—he just wants to prevent me from being happy.
  11. He’s incredibly selfish. He actually only cares about himself. Women are nothing more than objects to possess so he can boost his ego. He doesn’t really care about me or what I need in a relationship. He just wants to know that I’m there when it’s convenient for him. He needs a serious wake-up call!
  12. He has “emergency dates” on call. I’ve noticed a trend with him. When he’s going through a bit of a dating slump, he’ll call me up to say hi. Same goes for when he’s lonely and bored. It’s like he has an emergency stash of women’s numbers on his phone, but I wish he’d do me a huge favor and just delete mine.
  13. He’s the king of the almost relationship. I remember after we dated, I noticed how he treated other women and it was always the same story. He’d start dating someone, have a whirlwind romance, then dump them before real feelings came into play. It’s sad but he’s  just after almost relationships so he can have his fun without getting attached. He chooses not to have real attachments, so then why be jealous of me when I have them in my life? It’s unfair!
  14. He created the situation himself. I’d be more sympathetic to his plight if I’d mistreated him or lost interest when we were dating, but what happened was that he strung me along until I realized that he was never going to make me his, so I moved on. If that bugs him then he’s a jerk. What did he expect? That I’d wait around for him forever? He pushed me away and now he has to face the consequences.
  15. I’m somebody’s priority. I was never important to him when we dated. After I moved on, whenever he called me up out of the blue I just knew he was using me for conversation, attention and to boost his ego. Now, I’m happy with someone who makes me a priority, someone who’s more of a man than you ever were.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.