If He Doesn’t Give You Butterflies, You’re Better Off Alone

You call it being picky, I call it waiting for fireworks. While some people are totally cool with settling in order to share their life with someone, I think it’s always worth waiting for a guy that you’re truly invested in. You know the popular saying “you should love someone, but also like them”? It’s totally true. You should love and like the guy you choose to call your own. That means it’s real. Here’s why you should never date a guy you’re not 100 percent sure about.

  1. Love should never be boring. You’ll know you’re with the right guy when you’re never, ever bored around him. You should want someone so much that even watching TV with him or making dinner together is super interesting.
  2. You should be giddy with excitement. When you’re completely infatuated with someone, you think he’s the absolute best person in the whole wide world. There’s no one cuter, funnier, smarter, wittier, etc. Basically, no one even exists except this guy. If you don’t feel that way, there is absolutely zero point dating him. Period.
  3. You’ll regret staying with him. Even if you stay with this guy forever and ever, deep down you’ll always know that this wasn’t the right decision. Living with that is pretty crappy, so don’t do that to yourself. There are enough regrets in the dating world, so don’t let being with someone you’re not all about be one of them.
  4. Think of your 5-year-old self. When you were a kid, you pretended your dolls were getting married all the time. A romantic wedding was a total given. You always thought you would find your prince and even though you’re much older now and know that fairy tales aren’t always super realistic, you know that secretly you still want romance. You owe it to yourself to hold out.
  5. He might be lukewarm toward you, too. If you’re uncertain about him, he might feel the same way about you. Maybe that’s why he’s gravitating to you – he could be afraid of commitment or want something casual and he figures he’ll be with a girl that he can tell isn’t super into him. Don’t be that girl. Tell the truth and find someone you actually like.
  6. Like life, love has its ups and downs. Navigating the hard times is never fun, but it’s a million times better when you’re with someone you care about deeply. It’s like your job – your love for what you do helps you get through the long hours. Think about your love life the same way. Wait for someone who makes the tough times worth it.
  7. The single life has its perks. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re filled with loneliness every single day. It can be a life of freedom, friends and Friends re-runs on Netflix. Why would you give that up for just anyone?
  8. It’s too confusing. Basically, you shouldn’t have to spend every day wondering how you feel about someone. It’s super confusing and will give you a massive headache.
  9. Forever is a long time. Okay, so who knows if you’ll end up staying with the next guy for the rest of your days, but if you’re a romantic sort of person (come on, you can admit it), then that’s what you want. That’s a lot of days, when you think about it. Don’t waste them with someone you don’t really care about.
  10. You should be 1000 percent about him. When you fall in love for real, you won’t have to wonder how you feel. You’ll instinctively know because everything in your being will be screaming that this is the guy for you. Basically, you should feel that, 1000 percent, this is your person.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.