If He Sends You These 11 Texts, He’s Not In It For The Long Haul

You can tell a lot about a guy by how he texts. If you’re receiving any of these texts on the regular, it should be a fat red flag that he’s really not your forever person.

  1. “Can I come over?” You’ve had a busy, stressful day. All you want to do is soak in a bubble bath and go to bed… and then he sends you this text. It’s late, you’re tired, and he’s making a habit of always wanting to see you on the cuff. No, it’s not a coincidence that he’s always sending these types of texts in the early hours.
  2. Me, me, me. If he always talks about himself via text and never really takes an interest in you, there’s your answer right there. He’s not boyfriend material and he’s certainly not husband material. He’s too obsessed with himself to think of another person.
  3. “My ex used to…” It’s fine for him to talk about his ex once in a while, but if he’s always mentioning her, even when you’re talking about random subjects like wall paint or car mechanics, it’s a huge red flag. It’s clear that she’s always on his mind and he just can’t resist talking about her.
  4. [No answer] There are annoying texts, and then there are no texts at all. If it happens all too regularly that you send your guy a meaningful text and he doesn’t answer you, it’s a problem. How long does it take him to think about his response? There’s no excuse for leaving a text on read for hours or days. Even worse are the guys who resist talking about anything serious or anything to do with your relationship so they never get back to you. When they do resurface to text, it’ll be about something completely different and unrelated to what you were talking about.
  5. “Sorry for the delay, I was so busy.” Yeah, whatever. We’re so sick and tired of receiving “I’m so busy” texts from guys. It has to stop because we’re onto them. We know that no one can be that busy that they can’t send a quick text or at least say that they’ll chat with us after work. When they’re avoiding our texts so much and then dishing us boring excuses for why, it’s clear they’re trying to avoid us.
  6. “I can’t see you tomorrow, how about on the weekend?” If you keep trying to see your guy during the week but he can never squeeze you in for a quick bite to eat or movie and he keeps pushing your dates to the weekend, something’s up! It seems like he’s trying to keep his weeknights separate from his weekends, which does make you wonder why.
  7. “We should hang out sometime.” This sort of text usually contains exclamation marks or happy-face emojis. It’s like the guy’s overcompensating for the dark, cold truth: he’s never going to make an actual plan to see you. The thing is, if he’s spending time texting you to tell you that you two should spend time together, with the same amount of effort he could be making a definite plan with you!
  8. “I like things the way they are.” On the one hand, this is a compliment. He likes the way things are going with you, but honestly, those words feel satisfying for all of five minutes before they become a red flag. If he doesn’t want to talk about the future, his views on relationships, or tell you what he damn well wants, the guy’s stalling. Saying he wants to keep things the way they are really means he wants to keep them casual.
  9. “You’re so hot.” Hey, it’s flattering to receive such a compliment from a guy, especially if you made a big effort to look gorgeous on your date. But if all he can ever compliment you on is your looks, there’s a problem. He’s clearly only focused on getting to know who you are on the outside, instead of creating a more permanent bond with you.
  10. “Let’s talk about it later.” Sometimes you just can’t help it. You need to get something off your chest RIGHT NOW. But if your guy keeps delaying when you can chat about it, he’s really trying to avoid the issue altogether. Of course, some things are best reserved for face-to-face conversations, but if you don’t have a chance to see him soon, you don’t want your feelings to fester. If he doesn’t want to chat about things via text, the least he can do is pick up the phone and call you.
  11. “Wanna see my junk?” A guy who sends this—or worse, a picture of his junk without asking first—is telling you where it’s at. You don’t have to ask him where he wants your relationship to go because he’s making it clear he just wants to have some fun. A guy who’s serious about you and wants to have a serious relationship with you isn’t going to risk putting you off with such immature texting behavior. It really says a lot about the type of guy he is and what he wants from you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.