If He’s Putting You Through This Crap, He’s Breadcrumbing You

If someone’s words are everything you’ve ever wanted to hear but their actions make you doubt every single thing they’ve ever said, then congratulations — you’re probably being breadcrumbed. Here are some other signs that you should probably stop following their trail:

  1. He says all the right things. Everything out of his mouth is the perfect combination of poetry and promises. While his words may be sweet, they usually don’t hold much weight on their own. You have to remind yourself that no one is perfect, and if every text message he’s sending you is something straight out of romance novel, that means something else has got to give.
  2. He only does the bare minimum to keep you interested. He hardly ever makes plans with you and follows through. When you do see him, it’s a very convenient situation, like meeting up at a bar that he already planned on going to anyway. Going the extra mile isn’t really his game plan. He won’t be the one texting you all day or constantly trying to hang out. Still, he’ll hold your interest, despite the fact you only see him once in a blue moon.
  3. You’ll get a random call or text full of affection. Out of nowhere, he reaches out. He calms your fears and gets rid of any doubts you had about his feelings for you. He acts sweet and attentive and makes you feel like the only girl in the world. It’s the most bizarre thing ever and so unexpected and random that you don’t know how to deal with it.
  4. You don’t hear from him for three weeks. All of the romance of the evening before was just enough to get you excited about the future… and then he goes ghost. You don’t hear anything from him for weeks, and when he finally does decide to get back in touch, his reasons for being MIA are always out of his hands. How could he have called you if his phone was at the bottom of a lake, right?
  5. When you’re with him, things are perfect. TIn those rare moments where the stars align and you guys actually spend some time alone together, it’s straight out of a movie. Despite all the doubts you have, actually being with him reminds you of why you put yourself through all the BS. Maybe, just maybe it will all work out (but probably not).
  6. When you’re not together, you’re questioning everything. With that brief moment of happiness and security gone, you’re left alone with your thoughts. If you’re seeing a guy who’s barely making any attempt to commit to you but still somehow makes you feel like you’re important, that’s kind of a worst-case scenario.
  7. He makes you feel like you can’t trust your instincts. Sometimes when you talk to him, you’re so sure that he feels the same way and that you’re headed in the right direction. Then other times, when he’s distant or completely off the grid, you’re 100 percent certain that he is just playing you and that you’ll never fall for it again. The problem lies in the inability for you to trust your gut. It makes it easier for you to be strung along.
  8. He lies or doesn’t reveal the entire truth about himself. He leads you on to believe that he has his life together when really it’s the opposite. All of the conversation is always directed towards you and your life, which seems sincere. Really, he’s just trying to keep himself out of the spotlight. When little details do arise that raise some questions about who he really is, he’s quick to deflect and bring the focus back to you.
  9. He’s very seldom on social media. If he actually does have some accounts, they’re barely ever used. His last Instagram was 12 weeks ago and it’s of the bagel he had for breakfast. No, you didn’t stumble upon some rare gem of a guy who isn’t as into social media as the douchy men you’re used to. This guy’s smart, and he knows that the less you (and the other girls he’s definitely talking to) know about his life, the more likely you are to hang on.
  10. Just when you think he’s out of your life forever, he comes back. Even though the last time you talked, he was confessing his love for you, the lack of commitment and silence on his end has you sure that it’s finally over. But then he calls. It’s like he has a sixth sense of some sort that alerts him when you’ve finally moved on. No matter how tempting it may be to get sucked back in, don’t fall for it. You’re better off waiting for someone who actually wants to make an effort to be with you.
Emily is a writer, dog mom, and occasional narcissist living in what her mom refers to as “a bubble.” Geographically speaking, it’s more like Daytona Beach, Florida. A graduate of the University of Central Florida, she is a community editor for a local newspaper and spends most of her time trying to convince her dog to cuddle.