Opinion: If He’s A Bad Kisser, He’ll Be A Bad Boyfriend

After an amazing date, the guy moves closer to you and you think, “This is it!” You close your eyes and anticipate an explosive first kiss… but instead, he slobbers all over your face or your mind wanders to how you need to pick up milk on your way home because the kiss is so boring. You leave the date wondering if it’s possible to ignore the bad kiss because he’s such a great guy, but the reality is you can’t and shouldn’t. Here’s why:

  1. There clearly wasn’t any spark. It doesn’t matter why the the kiss was gross. The mere fact that you didn’t enjoy it means that you didn’t feel a spark with this guy, and that’s no way to start an exciting new relationship. You deserve to feel spine-tingling passion, as corny as that sounds.
  2. It points to bedroom dissatisfaction. Yes, you really can tell how great he’ll be in bed based on his kiss because if there’s a massive connection or lots of chemistry during the kiss, you’ll tingle all over at the thought of what will happen in the bedroom. Besides, a guy who’s good with his tongue will please you in many wonderful ways.
  3. Your bodies don’t fit. Those awkward kisses where you bump into each other or can’t seem to kiss comfortably can be down to first-date nerves, but honestly, sometimes they just point to how you don’t fit. If your faces seem out of proportion or you just can’t seem to reach his mouth comfortably, it’s damn weird. Physical incompatibility doesn’t necessarily have to mean there’s no potential, but it’s better not to force it.
  4. It makes you wonder what else is wrong with him. Come on, admit it — after a bad kiss, you’ll be wondering what else will disappoint you about this guy. A bad kiss is rarely a one-off, and you’ll see that if you try to kiss him again because you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Hint: don’t waste your time.)
  5. It’s too much effort to train him. You might think you can teach him how to improve his kissing style, but seriously, are you pre-teens and is practicing on a peach involved in your training? Come on, an adult guy who can’t kiss you properly should not be in your life and you shouldn’t waste time trying to train him to do a better job. It’s too much work. By the time he’s in his twenties, he should at least know how to kiss the socks off a girl.
  6. You’re obviously not compatible. When you have a great kiss, you feel that you and the guy have a strong connection. You need this so that you’ll be physically compatible. Without it, you might have a mental or emotional connection, but your relationship will lack fire.
  7. You’re not going to be happy in the relationship. It sounds harsh, but an Oxford University study found that regular kissing in a relationship was connected to relationship quality, even more than having more sex! If you can’t imagine sucking face with a guy all the time, then why be with him?
  8. You’ll be stressed out. Kissing is said to be good for your health. Researchers from Arizona State University found that if you have kisses regularly, you’ll zap stress and boost your body’s ability to recover from any stress that you do experience. You can’t beat stress if the kisses are making you feel stressed, and that’s really no good.
  9. There’s a huge hygiene or lifestyle problem. If you consider him a bad kisser because he stinks of cigarettes or has bad breath, why the heck would you want to try to make a relationship work with him? Clearly, the issue is more than just about bad kissing and you’re not compatible with his bad hygiene or lifestyle habits.
  10. You won’t bond. There’s another benefit to kissing: it increases your oxytocin hormones that are responsible for making you feel closer and more intimate with someone. If you’re stuck with a bad kisser, you won’t clinch that greater intimacy. Why settle for less than you deserve?
  11. He’s an inexperienced dater. If he’s a bad kisser, you can’t help but wonder if he lacks dating experience. You might be stuck with a guy who has commitment issues or gets dumped by women he dates before they even become his girlfriends because he has no clue about how to deal with women. Hmmm. Time to send that sloppy kisser back to dating school.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.