If He’s Not Making You Happy, Why Are You Sticking Around?

You’re unhappy. All you do is fight with your boyfriend. You don’t want to be with him anymore, but day after day you find yourself in the same place. WTF?

It’s comfortable.

This is one of the biggest reasons people stay in relationships. It’s easy and it’s comfortable. He already knows everything about you. At this point, you can pee with the door open and order a whole pizza for yourself and it’s not a big deal. The idea of starting all over again is too stressful, but if you’re miserable, it is better to step out of your comfort zone, break up with him, and be happier.

You’d rather be unhappy than alone.

Being alone can seem terrifying, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. At this point, you’ve probably convinced yourself you’d rather be in a terrible relationship than face your fears of being alone. But dating a crappy guy because you don’t want to be lonely isn’t going to get you anywhere.

You’ve convinced yourself things will get better.

There’s a good chance that if you’re staying in a miserable relationship, it could be because you’re still optimistic that things will get better. Chances are, if things are crappy now, they’re either going to stay the same or get worse.

You’re afraid you’ll be making the wrong choice.

But “what if,” right? What if you make the wrong choice and a couple of months down the road realize that it wasn’t so bad and you want to be with him? In a couple of months, if you honestly feel like you’re supposed to be with him, call him up. Maybe a break is what you both needed to have a better relationship.

It’s too much work to break up.

You’d have to talk to him and explain your feelings. You’d have to deal with him either yelling at you or turning on his sweet switch and trying to convince you to stay. At this point, half of your closet is at his house and it would make your friend group feel super uncomfortable. There are many reasons we can convince ourselves breaking up with our loser boyfriend  would simply take too much work, but don’t let the work of a breakup stop you from doing what’s ultimately going to make you happier.

You’re not sure if you can find someone better.

You may be miserable sometimes and he may be a loser, but you two have some good times together. He still makes you laugh and on occasion he pays for dinner. Yeah, and? Trust me, there is someone out there who wouldn’t blink at paying the bill.

He’s manipulative.

Guys are good at getting what they want. Do you ever notice that as soon as you start talking to him about being unhappy in the relationship, he turns it around and next thing you know, you’re in bed with him? Truth is, he probably knows he is a crappy boyfriend but he doesn’t want to lose you. He’ll sweet-talk you and convince you things aren’t bad every time you try to talk to him about it.

You made a promise.

You could be trying to prove a point. Did you ever promise him you would work through anything and everything that happens in your relationship and that you would never leave him? This could be what’s keeping you in that miserable relationship. We make promises when things are all rainbows and butterflies. You need to decide if that is a promise worth keeping at this point.

You still love him. 

The good news is you can love him and still decide you don’t want to subject yourself to a miserable relationship anymore. It doesn’t mean you care about him any less. It simply means you’re deciding that you’re important and deserve way more than a miserable relationship.

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