If Sex Education For An Adult Was A Thing, Here’s What Would Be In The Curriculum

In high school health class, many of us learned where babies came from, how not to get pregnant, and how to put a condom on a banana. Most courses focused on the reproductive aspects of sex, not the pleasurable part. As a result, most of us had to figure out the meaning of good sex all on our own through trial and error. In fact, some of us are still trying to figure it all out. But what if adult sexual education existed to clear up any and all questions you have so that you can experience better sex? If adult sex ed was a thing, here’s what I think the curriculum should include.

1. A female-focused curriculum The last time I checked, the penis is not that complicated. Men have one way to ejaculate and that’s it. We women, on the other hand, were blessed with multiple different ways to feel pleasure, many of which are completely ignored or simply not explored. Sadly, many of us women don’t understand our bodies as well as we think we do and it can feel difficult to ask for something that you don’t quite understand. I think that if more men and women focused on learning more about female pleasure, everyone would be having the best sex ever.
2. A lesson on the significance of solo sessions It’s essential that men and women acknowledge that solo sessions aren’t just for guys. Way too many women are ashamed or embarrassed to admit that they touch themselves or are too afraid to even try. The benefits of masturbation are incredible, so it sucks that so many women feel weird about solo sex! From relieving stress to easing menstrual cramps, masturbating is one of the best ways to show your body self-care. Ultimately, deconstructing the stigma surrounding female masturbation is important for any adult sex-ed curriculum.
3. A lesson on the art of foreplay I don’t know about you, but I’ve slept with too many guys that skip out on foreplay and I think because no one really knows what to do. Building anticipation is key, especially for women who take a little bit longer to achieve orgasms. But besides orgasms, foreplay just feels really good. Touching, caressing, and feeling your partner prior to penetration makes sex go from a concentrated act to a whole body experience.
4. Female oral sex 101 I hate having to teach a guy how to properly go down on me. While I realize that every woman’s lady bits are different so quite literally there are different strokes for different folks, I feel like there are fundamentals to oral sex regardless of the vagina.
5. A lesson on the various female orgasms Honestly, I just think this would be educational for both men and women. I feel like doctors, sexologists, sex columnists, and everyone under the sun claims that women are capable of all kinds of orgasms in all kinds of places that most of us didn’t know were even on our bodies. I’m not saying that the g-spot isn’t real or that cervical orgasms can’t happen or the clitoral orgasms are the best of all. But can’t we just organize them a little bit better and provide diagrams on how to achieve them? Part of demystifying the female orgasm so that more women can achieve them is about making the information on orgasms accessible, accurate, and actually instructive.
6.  A lesson on the importance of STI testing and prevention Just because many of us learn about STIs and STI prevention in high school doesn’t mean we don’t need a refresher course when we are adults. If you’re like me, you’re totally guilty of minimizing the importance of using condoms during sex to prevent STIs and forgoing them altogether. While I’ve been lucky enough not to catch an STI, I won’t be sleeping with anyone new without a condom going forward unless I have their test results in hand. Call me neurotic, but I think it’s just being safe. STIs are getting harder to treat and some are even life-threatening. Adults can totally benefit from a reminder about easy it is to almost completely nullify your risk with one super cheap piece of latex.  Besides, safe sex is the best sex.
7. A lesson on sex toys I’m not huge on sex toys, but I do think that a lesson on the different types of toys out there and how they can enhance your sex life is super needed. While many people use them regularly, a lot of people are nervous to incorporate them into their sex lives simply because they’re not entirely sure how to use them and whether they are safe. A little education can go a long way.
8. Sex communication 101 This isn’t necessarily about dirty talking, although a quick unit on dirty talking and texting can be certainly be included. My vision for this part of the course is to teach people how to communicate about what they want in their sex lives and why they want it. I don’t know about you, but this is definitely something I did not learn in high school sex ed and something that I’m still trying to navigate now through trial and error with my partner and ad-hoc advice from trusted friends. But it’s super hard for most adults even if we don’t want to admit it.
9. A lesson on kissing Okay, hear me out. For most of us, we learned how to kiss through trial and error, not through a semi-formal lesson.  Like me, you’ve probably entertained some pretty horrible kisses in your life, but it’s not like it’s anyone’s fault. Most people were ever taught! You’ve probably figured it out by now but can you honestly say with confidence that you know how to kiss? Kissing is one of the most important gestures two people can make to each other in a romantic relationship. It is a gateway to sexual pleasure but also to romance and intimacy. Great kisses make lasting memories and so do horrible ones. Let’s encourage more great kisses!
10. A lesson on consent Consent is always sexy and never goes out of style. As a result, we should continue to emphasize why consensual sex is important. No sexual education class would be complete without it!