If Someone Does These 12 Things, They Might Secretly Resent You

If Someone Does These 12 Things, They Might Secretly Resent You

You used to have a really strong relationship with someone, but all of a sudden, that doesn’t seem to be the case. The rapport you once had or the connection you used to share has suddenly disappeared and you’re not sure why. It could be resentment building up — here’s how you know for sure.

1. They avoid talking to you directly.

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Noticeable shifts in communication patterns often suggest more than meets the eye. Avoiding in-depth discussions and favoring brief, non-committal responses could hint at hidden discomfort or dissatisfaction in their interactions with you. This change is a subtle yet significant sign that they might be harboring negative feelings.

2. Their body language is a bit weird.

Angry young couple looking at each other and keeping arms crossed while sitting close to each other on the couch

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Subtle changes in non-verbal cues can be revealing. If someone’s body language becomes closed off or uneasy around you, like avoiding eye contact or crossing arms, it can be a silent indicator of their true feelings underneath a composed exterior. This physical distancing is often a non-verbal sign of internal conflict.

3. They suddenly act different around you.

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Altered actions can sometimes betray hidden emotions. Frequent last-minute cancellations or a newfound busyness to avoid meetings could be signs of underlying resentment, not just a packed schedule. These behavioral changes, especially when they’re out of character, can be a red flag. (P.S. If you’re sick of ending up in romantic relationships like this, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have some game-changing tips, tricks, and advice that will change your love life in just a few weeks.)

4. They make passive-aggressive comments.

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The tone of their remarks can be telling. Disguised as jokes or offhand comments, passive-aggressive remarks can be veiled expressions of bitterness, subtly targeting your actions or decisions. This kind of communication often serves as an indirect outlet for their hidden displeasure.

5. They’re just not interested in your life.

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A fading interest in your achievements or personal stories might be more than a passing phase. This apparent indifference, especially when they used to be more engaged, can signal an undercurrent of resentment. It’s a change that can feel particularly hurtful if they were once very supportive.

6. They have extreme reactions to really small issues.

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Their reaction to minor problems can be insightful. If they start criticizing trivial matters excessively, it could reflect deeper, pent-up frustration or resentment towards you, often out of proportion to the actual situation. These overreactions can be a clear sign that there’s more going on beneath the surface.

7. They don’t support you the way they used to.

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Noticeable withdrawal of support or encouragement, particularly in moments when you need it most, can be a subtle expression of their resentment, a shift from their previously supportive demeanor. This lack of support can be especially telling if they were once your biggest cheerleader.

8. They’re overly cynical and sarcastic.

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An uptick in sarcastic or cynical remarks, especially targeted towards your interests, can be a defensive tactic to mask true feelings of dissatisfaction or resentment, allowing them to express discontent indirectly. This kind of humor can often serve as a shield for their real emotions.

9. They don’t want to tell you anything about their lives.

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If someone who used to be open with you starts holding back personal information or seems uninterested in sharing their experiences, it could indicate a deeper sense of estrangement. This reluctance to engage on a personal level can be a subtle hint of their discomfort or resentment towards you.

10. They’re irritable all the time for no apparent reason.

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An increase in irritability, especially in situations that previously wouldn’t bother them, can be a sign of deeper issues. Their patience seems thinner, and they get annoyed more easily, often over things that are trivial. This change in temperament, particularly if it’s mostly directed towards you, can be a subtle indication of hidden resentment.

11. They withdraw socially.

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Social withdrawal, particularly from group activities or events they once enjoyed, can be telling. If they start declining invitations or appear less enthusiastic about group interactions, especially those involving you, it might not just be a case of being introverted. This behavior can signal a desire to distance themselves due to underlying negative feelings.

12. They’re hot and cold with you.

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Inconsistency in how they treat you compared to others can be a red flag. If they are warm and engaging with everyone else but appear cold or indifferent towards you, it’s worth noting. This difference in behavior can be a covert way of expressing their resentment.

13. They’re way less tolerant of your mistakes than other people’s.

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A sudden decrease in tolerance for your mistakes or imperfections can indicate a shift in their feelings. They might start pointing out errors or faults they previously overlooked, indicating a change in their perspective towards you. This critical attitude can often stem from a place of resentment.

14. They give you the silent treatment.

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Using the silent treatment, especially after minor disagreements or for no apparent reason, can be a passive-aggressive way of showing discontent. This form of communication, or lack thereof, is often used to express displeasure without direct confrontation, hinting at unresolved issues or resentment towards you.

15. They never tell you when good stuff happens to them.

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A noticeable reluctance to share their positive news or achievements can be a subtle sign of resentment. If they used to enthusiastically share their successes but now seem hesitant or indifferent about including you in their moments of joy, it could indicate a shift in their feelings. This change, especially if they continue to share openly with others, highlights a specific withdrawal from your relationship, often rooted in underlying negative emotions.

16. They don’t reciprocate your kindness.

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When thank-yous become rare or they stop reciprocating small acts of kindness, it’s a sign that their attitude towards you has changed. This shift, particularly in someone who used to be thoughtful, can indicate resentment simmering beneath the surface.

17. They’re not interested in the hobbies you once shared.

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A sudden lack of enthusiasm for activities or interests that you both once shared can be a red flag. If they no longer show excitement for joint hobbies or discussions about mutual passions, it might not be just a loss of interest. This withdrawal can be a subtle way of distancing themselves, reflecting a change in their feelings towards you.

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Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.