If Someone Does These 12 Things On A First Date, They’re Not Worth Dating

First dates are first impressions. You can tell a lot about someone by the things they do (or don’t do) on a first date and there are some deal breakers to notice. If  the person you’re seeing can’t do these 12 things, you have to ask yourself if they’re even worth going out with again. The answer is probably no.

  1. They arrive late. Is there anything worse than sitting with a cocktail for almost an hour before your date shows up? If they can’t even be on time for a first date, that’s really sloppy on their part. It’s about respect and clearly they have none.
  2. They don’t text when late. Everyone can have some last-minute emergency that crops up and makes them late. But if that’s the case, then the person should have the decency to text to say they’re going to be late. It’s not a lot to ask, yet it’s surprising how few people actually do this.
  3. They order on your behalf. This is one that’s got to go! Is there anything more annoying than someone who tries to order food or drinks for you on your behalf? Last you checked, you could read items off the menu and make your own choices, thanks.
  4. They comment on what you’re eating. If you’ve ordered a vegetarian or dairy-free dish and all they can do is criticize you for your lifestyle choice, that’s really not a good sign that they’ll be a standup relationship partner. Just imagine having to deal with this all the time. No thanks.
  5. They don’t mention their ex. You know that it’s been said a million times before: you shouldn’t speak about exes on a first date. But if the subject comes up, how your date responds to it can tell you a lot. If they don’t want to talk about their ex at all, it can be a bit of a red flag. Of course, talking about their ex all through coffee is also a red flag, so it’s about spotting anything extreme.
  6. They get sloshed. Meeting for drinks doesn’t mean getting drunk until your date can hardly stand. Ugh. So much for having a decent conversation. If someone can’t handle their liquor, you don’t need that in your life. Taxi!
  7. They don’t ask you questions. If they’re all about their work, their hobbies, their relationship history, and never care to ask you about yourself, don’t walk away from the table, run! This person is selfish and not worth your time.
  8. They take calls. Are you on a date with someone who actually wants to be there or are you wasting your evening with someone who keeps taking calls on their phone the whole time? Saying “sorry about that” but still taking calls is not good enough either. Put your phone away, jerk.
  9. They ogle other people. While they’re chatting to you about something, their eyes are always drifting and not in the normal way where you look away from the person at your surroundings. They’re always checking out other people and you can see that they can’t pull their eyes away and back to you. Ugh.
  10. They look like they just rolled out of bed. The person you’re meeting doesn’t have to come dressed to slay, but a bit of a clue that they took a few minutes to find an outfit and brush their knotty hair is good enough. If someone can’t even do that, then it’s like they really don’t care about themselves or how they appear to the world. Meanwhile, you made a real effort to look your best.
  11. They gossip. If they want to spill the beans on their friend’s horrible marriage or what juice they heard at the office and you don’t even know each other that well, that’s not a good show of character. What would they say about you behind your back?
  12. They mansplain your life to you. It’s bad enough for someone to try to mansplain something they know very well, but when you’re stuck on a date with someone who tries to tell you what you should be doing in your life or how to go about building your business when you haven’t asked them for advice, that’s a whole other level of BS.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.