If These Things Aren’t Easy In The Beginning Of Your Relationship, It’s Not Going to Last

When you finally find yourself in a relationship, it’s tempting to think that everything is totally cool now. You’ve said goodbye to the single life, you’ve found someone to share your life with, and now you can relax. But can you? Here are 11 things that should go super smoothly at the start of your relationship if you’re going to go the distance:

  1. Making plans The pressure may be off when you make things official, and it’s easy to think that you don’t have to make dates ahead of time. Won’t you just show up at each other’s places and that will be that? If your new BF makes it tough to make plans, that’s bad news. He might claim that he’s too busy to plan ahead or that he doesn’t know what he’s up to Saturday night but honestly, that’s all BS. Once making plans becomes too difficult, that’s a sign that your new relationship isn’t as perfect as you thought that it was.
  2. Spending a lot of time together You know how there are some couples that seem attached at the hip and others need much more alone time? There’s no one way to be in a relationship and it’s all good. If you like being super close with the person that you’re dating and you need to spend a lot of time with them, then that’s exactly what should be happening. Your boyfriend shouldn’t shut you down when you suggest fun weekend plans or say you want to hang out more often.
  3. Staying in touch It may sound pretty basic, but if your new boyfriend sucks at texting and never checks in with you, then that’s a huge problem. You deserve someone who wants to talk to you on a regular basis and who’s always thinking about you. You don’t have to settle for someone who claims that he’s just a bad texter or that it’s just not him. He has a phone, he’s always on his phone, and staying in touch throughout the day should be simple.
  4. Talking about the future It’s a total stereotype that guys hate talking about the future. If a guy is in love with you (or even just likes you a whole lot) then he’s going to be thrilled to discuss the next year and beyond. There’s nothing wrong with bringing this stuff up, as long as you don’t turn into a total psycho who wants a ring as soon as you make things official. But that’s probably not you. You just want to know that your investment in this guy is going to pay off and that’s exactly what you should be thinking.
  5. Sharing your emotions It’s also complete crap that guys don’t like to share their feelings. The right guy might not want you to see him cry, which is understandable, but he’ll definitely be able to tell you when he’s unhappy about something. That goes for relationship problems and things that have nothing to do with you at all. Not being able to talk about important subjects and emotions with your partner is a really bad sign.
  6. Blending your two lives together You can want a boyfriend and still have a tough time giving up the comforts of your single girl life. After all, it’s been just you for a while and you’re pretty attached to your yoga classes and your drinks dates with your BFFs. But if you don’t clear some things on your calendar and make room for your new guy, there’s really no point of even being with them. If you notice that he isn’t making the same effort, then that’s not what you deserve.
  7. Meeting each other’s family and friends. The best way to tell that a guy isn’t serious about you? When he doesn’t want you to meet his people. As long as you’ve had the big talk and have committed to each other, it’s time to meet each other’s family and friends. Don’t just accept it if he keeps putting this off. Ask him what’s going on and make him tell you the truth.
  8. Finding new hobbies You don’t have to love everything that your boyfriend does and vice versa. You should probably consider finding some new hobbies and interests that the two of you can share. You’ll bond even more. If you bring this up and he says no or if he makes a huge deal out of anything that you suggest, you should pay attention to that.
  9. Supporting each other The best thing about being in a relationship is having someone who will always be there for you no matter what. He’s a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a support system. A boyfriend that doesn’t care about your happiness or what’s going on in your life is not a real boyfriend. And he’s definitely not someone that you should keep dating. The same goes for if you try to help him through something and he totally shuts down.
  10. Not fighting over every little thing Sure, arguments are going to happen—that’s just a fact of life and love. The problems start happening when you find yourself fighting over the little things. That’s a recipe for a breakup. Being able to have a mature, adult conversation and move on from something is a sign that you two can really handle being together, and anything else is not a good sign.
  11. Not getting jealous Wondering about your boyfriend’s ex or wanting to check his phone is just a total waste of time. The truth is that it should be super easy to trust him and not feel any envy at all. If you feel deep down he only has eyes for you, then that’s all that you need to know, and you’re definitely both in it for the long run.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.