You might feel an urge to reread texts because in some way you can still feel connected to that person, even though they aren’t a part of your life anymore. Instead of looking ahead to the future, you’re stuck in the past, and in the long run, that’s only going to screw you over. Here’s why you need to delete the old messages from your phone and never look back:
It won’t give you the answers that you need.
You’ll be torturing yourself with questions like “why didn’t I see this coming?” and “did I miss all the signs?” but it won’t change the outcome. Maybe there aren’t any clues, and even if there were some hints that he was going to leave, how is that going to help you move on? It’s not.
You can look back on the past but you can’t live there.
It sounds like a cliche, but if you keep revisiting the past, you’ll never be able to move forward in life. Sure, you can appreciate the memories and learn from the experience, but you can’t change what’s happened. Do yourself a favor and look ahead to the future — you have control over that!
It won’t make you happy.
Reading messages from someone who you used to think the world of might make you feel happy in the moment, but it’s temporary, and when it wears off, you’ll be reminded that the person isn’t here anymore. You’ve lived through the pain once, so don’t reopen old wounds by putting yourself through it over and over again.
You’re closing yourself off.
Whenever you start having feelings for someone new, you detach yourself from them very quickly. The more you like someone, the more you push them away. It’s self-sabotage, and it’s a way of protecting yourself from further pain. But if you don’t take a chance, you’re preventing yourself from ever finding the right person.
It creates unrealistic expectations for a future partner.
That image you’ve created of them is false — people don’t stay the same. The more you idealize them, the harder it is to find someone who can compete with the perfect image you have in your head. Keeping those messages on your phone will make it so much harder to meet someone new.
You might feel tempted to send a message out of the blue.
The temptation to send a message just to check if they still care can be overwhelming at times. You want some kind of confirmation that they still feel something for you, despite all the signs saying otherwise. But it’s not going to help. You’ve already been through this before, so the last thing you need is false hope. Delete the texts, delete their number, and try not to think about them anymore.
It’s not healthy.
The reason why you can’t bring yourself to delete the old text messages is because it feels like deleting history. Without those messages, there’s no evidence that any of it ever happened. You’re scared of letting go of something that meant so much to you. And now you’re stuck between staying in the past and living in the future. It can be mentally exhausting being in two places at once, and the only way to truly move forward is to close one door and open another.
Nothing good will come out of it.
You’re not helping yourself by reading his sweet messages. It will leave you longing for something that’s unattainable, and you’ll blame yourself for the way it ended. Except none of this is your fault. And more importantly, none of it can be changed, so stop beating yourself up over it. The past is the past for a reason.
It will affect your next relationship.
Let’s be honest, you shouldn’t even be thinking about entering a new relationship if you’re still not over the last one. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to them. You need to be in the right frame of mind to start over with somebody new — and that starts with deleting those texts.
They’re probably not thinking about you.
It sounds harsh, but if they wanted to be in your life, they would never have left. Chances are, they don’t feel the same way you do. They aren’t reading your old conversations and reminiscing about the good times. They haven’t given you a second thought, so why are they still at the forefront of your mind? By holding on to the hope that they’ll come back to you, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. You deserve better than that. Finding the courage to finally delete those old text conversations is the best thing you can do for yourself.
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