If This Is What Your Relationship Is Like, It Won’t Last Forever

I’m not saying he’s a bad boyfriend or that there’s anything wrong with your relationship. You could be happy and in love with this guy… but that doesn’t mean he’s your forever person. Sometimes, there are other things to consider when deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life with. If any of these things sound familiar, he’s great, but he’s probably not your forever person:

  1. You Never Fight. Contrary to popular belief, you should fight when you’re in a relationship. Not all the time, of course, but fighting is crucial in moderation. It shows passion, engagement, and you can learn a lot about a person by the way they fight. You get to see how they communicate when they’re upset, what kind of tactics they use, and what things they refuse to compromise on. If you’ve never fought, then you’ve never seen a very important side of your partner.
  2. The Future Looks Different To Both Of You. He wants to live in a small town and you want to live in a big city. He wants to have three kids by the time he’s 35 and the thought of having one kid makes you sick to your stomach. Your ideas for the future are very different — that’s not something you should ignore.
  3. You Don’t Have Similar Interests. Sure, opposites attract, but so do people with similar interests and morals. Your boyfriend might like the outdoors, even though you absolutely hate. That’s probably not a big deal, but if your boyfriend’s an atheist and you’re a devoted Christian, you might run into some serious issues down the road if you haven’t already.
  4. He Doesn’t Make You Better. A forever person shouldn’t just make you happy (although that’s incredibly important) — they should make you a better person. When you’re with them, you should feel like you can accomplish anything! They should build you up and help you chase your dreams. If he’s convincing you to settle for things instead of pushing you out of your comfort zone, he’s not the one for you.
  5. The Same Person Always Gives In. Relationships are all about give and take. Neither of you are going to get your way every single time — or at least, that shouldn’t be the case. One of you shouldn’t always be giving in to the other. If he always gets his way or you always get your way, it shows an inability to compromise. As a couple, you should be able to find a happy medium.
  6. One Of You Doesn’t Want To Commit. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s him,  but one of you doesn’t fully want to commit to the other. It could be nerves. It could be a disinterest in monogamy. Or, it could be that one of you knows deep down in your heart that you two aren’t meant to be together forever. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
  7. You Don’t Spend A Lot Of Time Together. You two are in a relationship but you rarely spend time together. You chalk it up to your different schedules, but it’s really about priorities — neither of you thinks spending time together is a huge priority, which begs the question of why you’re together in the first place.
  8. Sex Doesn’t Excite You. The more sex you have with him, the more you realize how boring your sex life is. He isn’t the worst you’ve ever had, but he’s definitely not the best. In fact, you’d rather use a vibrator than be touched by him. If you’ve been together for a while and the sex still isn’t good, it’s probably not going to get better.
  9. He Doesn’t Get Along With Your Family. Family is a big deal! If he doesn’t like your parents and they don’t like him, that’s going to be nothing but drama for the rest of your life. Imagine all the awkward holiday dinners and uncomfortable barbecues — do you really want to deal with that? The person you choose to be with forever should be someone your parents approve of.
  10. You’re Trying To Change Him. He’s not the kind of guy you really want to end up with. That’s why you’re constantly trying to change him. You’ve updated his wardrobe, corrected his grammar, and helped him find a job you deem “appropriate for someone his age.” I’m not saying what you’re doing is wrong one. It just sounds like you’re settling for someone who isn’t what you want, instead of finding someone who is.
  11. You Still Think About Other Guys. You’re not a cheater, but there are other guys you could see yourself ending up with. Think about it. Are there men you have on the back burner, just in case this relationship doesn’t work? Mmmhhh. If this guy was your forever person, you wouldn’t have a list of “just in case” guys — all your eggs would be in this one guy’s basket.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.