If You Can’t Communicate, Your Relationship Will Never Survive

There’s plenty of advice out there for things you absolutely need in a healthy relationship. A lot of it varies from person to person, but some things are essential no matter who you are or what you’re looking for in a relationship. Solid communication is one of those things. As long as you have that, there’s not much else the two of you shouldn’t be able to work out together.

  1. No one is a mind reader. This should be pretty obvious. But we all have those moments where we can’t fathom why our other half doesn’t seem to get it. The reality is, some things that are obvious to you wouldn’t even cross the other person’s mind — so be nice and explain it. Problem solved.
  2. Feelings aren’t always obvious. Who hasn’t insisted they’re fine when they’re actually far from fine? Your partner might be able to discern the fact that you’re upset, but they probably have no idea why. Being able to put your feelings into words will serve you well in relationships, as well as in life.
  3. Being able to talk to each other is important. Your significant other is probably the person in your life you spend the most time with, so if you can’t talk to them about things that are bothering you, who can you talk to? A boyfriend or girlfriend should be someone you can lean on if you need to, so take advantage of it.
  4. Fights become a lot less dramatic when you can talk them out. Screaming at each other and throwing things probably isn’t the most productive way to argue. You aren’t going to get your message across by being irrational, but if you can sit down and talk about your issues, you’ll eventually be able to come to a resolution together.
  5. You need to make sure you want the same things. People change their minds about things every single day. Even if you guys were two peas in a pod when you first started dating, that doesn’t mean it will always be that way. For example, if you’re waiting for a proposal, but they’ve secretly decided they don’t believe in marriage, that’s kind of a problem. You won’t even know it exists unless you talk about it.
  6. Keeping things inside never turns out well. You can try to ignore all your problems and brush them under the rug, but that’s not going to make them go away. The worst ones will just end up festering and silently poisoning your relationship until there’s no going back to the way things used to be.
  7. You’ll avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. Since you can’t read each other’s mind, it’s hard to always know what someone else’s intentions are. Luckily there’s always the option to ask before you make an assumptions — and you should both feel comfortable doing that.
  8. It shows you respect each other. Being able to see something from someone else’s perspective is never a bad thing. If you want to hear their opinion, that means you trust their judgement, and there’s no bigger sign of respect than that.
  9. You have to be able to stand up for yourself. If something isn’t working for you, it’s your responsibility to speak up. This goes for more than just your relationship too. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want, so if you can’t communicate what that is, chances are you’re going to have a hard time getting it.
  10. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all relationship. Every couple in the world is unique. What works for one couple isn’t necessarily going to work for another. That’s why if you want to find that sweet spot where everything runs smoothly and you truly feel like you’re a team, you’re going to have to talk to each other. And listen to each other. Never underestimate the importance of being a good listener.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.