I have a friend who does something I’ve always found fascinating.
Every morning, his phone buzzes with notifications—texts, emails, news alerts, all of it. And every morning, he ignores them until after he’s finished his coffee and read for 30 minutes.
It seems like such a small thing. But I’ve watched other people—myself included—reach for their phone the second it lights up, like it’s physically impossible not to. And that difference, that ability to just let it sit there, revealed something I hadn’t fully appreciated before: self-control isn’t about big acts of willpower. It’s about not giving in to small temptations over time.
If you can consistently resist these everyday temptations, your self-control is much stronger than most people around you.
1. Checking Your Phone The Moment You’re Bored
Boredom is uncomfortable. And phones offer instant relief.
Waiting in line? Check your phone.
Sitting in a meeting that’s dragging? Check your phone.
Eating alone? Check your phone.
The gap between feeling bored and reaching for your device is almost nonexistent for most people.
But if you can sit with boredom without immediately filling it, you’re exercising a level of self-control that’s becoming increasingly rare. You’re tolerating discomfort instead of escaping it. And that ability to just sit with nothing happening is one of the foundations of self-discipline.
I’ve started practicing this intentionally. When I’m in a waiting room or standing in line, I resist the urge to pull out my phone. And it’s harder than it sounds. The pull is strong, but the ability to resist it has made me better at resisting other impulses, too.
2. Buying Something You Want Right Now
Online shopping has made it absurdly easy to go from wanting something to owning it. You see something. You want it. You click. It arrives tomorrow.
Research shows that people who can wait before buying things—even when they have the money and could get it instantly—spend less impulsively because they’ve learned to tell the difference between wanting something and actually needing it. If you can consistently resist buying things immediately, you’re exercising self-control that most people lack.
The ability to want something, add it to a cart, and then just leave it there for a day is unusual. Most people buy immediately without a second thought. But if you can feel the pull and not act on it, you’re exercising discipline that builds into real financial security over the years.
3. Staying Up “Just A Little Longer”
It’s 11 p.m. You know you should go to bed. But there’s one more episode. One more scroll. One more chapter.
“Just 20 more minutes” turns into an hour. And then you’re tired the next day, and the cycle repeats.
If you can stick to a bedtime—actually close the laptop, put down the phone, and go to sleep when you said you would—you’re resisting a temptation that derails most people every single night. Because going to bed on time requires overriding the immediate pull of whatever’s keeping you awake in favor of the future benefit of being well-rested tomorrow.
And that ability to prioritize Future You over Present You is one of the clearest markers of self-control.
4. Eating When You’re Not Actually Hungry
Boredom eating. Stress eating. Eating because food is there. Eating because it’s “time,” even though you’re not hungry yet.
Studies found that people who can tell the difference between real hunger and emotional eating have stronger self-control overall and better long-term health. They’ve learned to pause and think instead of automatically reacting to every urge to eat.
A lot of people eat reflexively, without thinking about whether they’re actually hungry. If you can feel the urge to eat and then pause long enough to ask, “Am I actually hungry, or am I just bored?” and then act accordingly, you’re exercising self-control that most people never develop.
I’ve noticed this in myself. I used to snack every time I sat down at my computer, not because I was hungry, but because it was a habit. Breaking that pattern required recognizing the impulse, pausing, and choosing not to act on it. And that pause—that gap between impulse and action—is where self-control lives.
5. Skipping Exercise When You Don’t Feel Like It
Everyone has days when they don’t feel like working out. You’re tired. You’re busy. It’s cold outside. The couch is right there.
Research shows that people who work out consistently, even when they’re not motivated, have developed the ability to do things regardless of how they feel, and that skill carries over into stronger self-discipline in every other part of life. If you can get yourself to exercise even when you want to skip it, you’re overriding immediate comfort in favor of long-term benefit. And that’s the essence of self-control.
6. Interrupting Or Dominating A Conversation
Someone’s talking, and you have a thought. A response. A story that relates. And the urge to jump in is strong.
People interrupt. They can’t help it. The impulse to speak overrides the discipline of listening.
Letting people finish their thoughts without interrupting, and sitting with the discomfort of waiting your turn, even when you’re excited to contribute, shows that you’re exercising social self-control that most people lack.
That restraint makes you a better conversationalist, a better listener, and someone people actually want to talk to. Because you’ve mastered the discipline of giving others the floor instead of piping up yourself.
7. Arguing With Strangers Online
Someone is wrong on the internet.
Or rude.
Or saying something you completely disagree with.
And the urge to respond—to correct them, to argue, to defend your position—is immediate and strong.
Research shows that people who can resist jumping into online arguments have better self-control. They override the emotional impulse to react, even though they know engaging won’t accomplish anything productive. Because arguing online almost never accomplishes anything except wasting your time and energy. Yet knowing that intellectually and actually resisting the urge to engage are two very different things.
People with strong self-control recognize the impulse, acknowledge that engaging won’t help, and choose to do nothing. And doing nothing—actively choosing not to react—is one of the hardest forms of self-discipline.
8. Complaining When Something Frustrates You
Traffic.
A slow computer.
A rude email.
Minor frustrations happen constantly. And the automatic response for most people is to complain. To vent. To vocalize the frustration immediately.
Complaining feels like it releases tension. But it actually reinforces the frustration and spreads it to everyone around you. People with strong self-control recognize that and choose silence or constructive actions instead.
I’ve been working on this one lately. When something frustrates me, I notice the urge to complain and then actively choose not to. And what I’ve found is that the frustration usually dissipates faster when I don’t feed it with words.
9. Pressing Snooze When Your Alarm Goes Off
The alarm rings. You’re warm. You’re comfortable. And the snooze button is right there.
“Just ten more minutes” is one of the most common lies people tell themselves every morning. And most people hit snooze multiple times before actually getting up.
Waking up when your alarm goes off—not when you feel like getting up, but when you planned to—means you’re starting your day with a win. You’re proving to yourself that you can override comfort in favor of commitment.
And that morning discipline sets the tone for every other decision you make that day. Because if you can resist the snooze button when you’re half-asleep, and your bed feels perfect, resisting other temptations becomes easier by comparison.
