If You Feel Like You’ll Never Get Over Your Ex, Read This

Your relationship is over and you know it was for the best, but you still haven’t been able to move on or stop thinking of him for even a second. You feel like you should be well on your way to a brand new relationship by now, but instead, you’re stuck obsessing over what went wrong and why things couldn’t have been different. If you’re struggling with trying to figure out how to get over your ex, here are a few things to keep in mind.

  1. This is totally normal. It’s not abnormal to still be carrying a flame for your ex weeks or even months after a breakup, especially if you were together for a long time. While you’ve been agonizing over how to get over your ex and feeling like you’re failing in some way because they’re still on your mind, you’ve missed out on one important thing: love has no timeline. Even when things don’t work out, you don’t automatically just wake up one morning and have no feelings for them anymore. These things take time. Give yourself some.
  2. You’re not stupid or pathetic for still having feelings for him. Furthermore, you might feel dumb or pathetic because you still haven’t moved on and they have. Or, maybe your friends didn’t mourn their breakups for half as long as it feels like you have yours. So what? Your feelings are valid, important, and worth expressing and working your way through. Everyone processes differently. You don’t need to be ashamed of your journey.
  3. They weren’t the one for you. It can be easy to convince yourself that your ex was the one that got away, and that makes it easier to hold onto them and avoid moving on. What you have to remember is that what’s meant for you will stay in your life. You won’t have to chase it, you won’t have to force it. If your ex was meant for you, they’d be with you. It really is that simple. The sooner you embrace this idea, the sooner you’ll be on the path towards finding the person who is meant for you.
  4. You had a life before them – you’ll have one after them. Try to think about your life before your relationship with your ex. I bet it was full, fun, and really fulfilling. Just because your relationship is over doesn’t mean you can’t have that back – and you should! Life doesn’t end the moment a relationship does. Don’t sell yourself short – go out there and live to the fullest.
  5. You’re not going to be alone forever. Of course you’re not. Believing anything else is foolish. There’s a big wide world out there full of people who could bring a lot of love and joy to your life. Never forget that.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia