If You Want Me, You Need To Earn Me

If You Want Me, You Need To Earn Me ©iStock/ljubaphoto

Before you try to date me, you should know a few things. I’m not easily impressed, nor am I easily won. You might think I’m being purposely difficult, impossible or that I’m just being a tease, but having me in your life forever is going to take work. I need someone who will make genuine effort to know me, care for me and continue to strive to make me happy, just as I would for you. If you want me in your life, you’re going to need to earn me.

  1. I know what I’m worth. I know who I am deep down and it took a long time for me to love myself, but I finally do, wholeheartedly. If you want to be in my life and turn this into something amazing, I need to know you’re worth letting in. I know what I bring to the table and what I’m capable of when I’m in love, and in order for me give it all to you, I’ll need to know and feel that you care the same way.
  2. I’ve experienced the worst and I’m done with it. I’ve been hurt many times before you and I never want to go back to that place again. I’m sick of the BS, the games, the ghosting and I’m sick of being treated without the respect I deserve. I’ve let men get away with sub-par and sometimes downright nasty treatment and it took me a long time to figure out that I didn’t deserve it — I deserve better. I want someone who’s going to rise to the occasion to earn their way into my heart. The openings aren’t as easy to fill anymore.
  3. I won’t settle for mediocre. I’m not looking for magic or rockets in the sky kind of love, I’m just looking for respect. Is that too much to ask for? I could live a cookie cutter life, but that’s not what I truly want. I want and need a partner who’s honest and loyal — someone who will hold me in the same high regard as I will him. If you’re really serious about embarking on a possible future with me, you’re going to need to show me the things I can’t see.
  4. I’m not a fantasy. I’m not the princess that needs to be saved from the dragon, nor am I someone who needs over-the-top romance to swoon me. I’m not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie; I’m more complex. I need someone who’s going to make the genuine effort to stand out from the sea of failures before you. I need an honest and upstanding man — not a knight in shining armor.
  5. I’m not here for your pleasure only. If you treat me like an object, I’ll choose to walk away. I’m so much more than a body to satisfy your horny urges and I need someone who’s going to put in the necessary work to get to know the layers underneath. I’m sick of men who are only trying to get into my pants  — they’re a dime a dozen. You’ll need to be interested in more than just sex if you ever want to have me completely.
  6. I respond to thoughtfulness. I’m not the rose petals and candlelight type. I like romance, but romantic gestures aren’t what works on me. I’m turned on by a man who pays attention to the little details, like how I take my morning coffee or the way that I hum when I’m cooking breakfast. I want someone who takes an interest in knowing the little things that put the biggest smile on my face.
  7. I deserve respect. I deserve someone who wants to know everything about me, sparing no details. What you see on the outside is only a small part of the equation. I deserve a man who knows how to be honest and behaves with a high level of integrity. I’m sick of wasting my time on players who want something superficial and are downright lazy at building a solid relationship from the ground up.
  8. I want to feel real and genuine love. The love I have to give is priceless and I won’t accept anything less than amazing. If you want my heart to be yours, you’ll need to step up to the plate in a way that no other man has. I’m a story waiting to be written, so if you want to continue to turn the pages with me, you’ll need to make the story worth writing. You’ll need to earn me.