If Your First Date Goes This Badly, You Probably Shouldn’t Accept A Second

If Your First Date Goes This Badly, You Probably Shouldn’t Accept A Second ©iStock/PeopleImages

First dates are always awkward in one way or another, no matter how well you end up getting along with the guy. Putting yourself out there at all is commendable, but you also have to know when to call it quits, because there’s no use dragging something out that just isn’t meant to be. Here are some signs that you don’t need to give him another chance, and that declining a second date would be the best move.

  1. The entire thing is an awkward encounter. Anyone can experience an uncomfortable silence, but usually those don’t ruin an entire date, because after a pause, the conversation continues to flow anyway. When there’s no flow and the talk never picks up again, it’s probably not a match.
  2. You’re totally miserable. Even if you can’t put your finger on exactly why, you just know you’re not having a good time. He can be perfect on paper, but if you feel like leaving or crying (and not because he’s blowing your mind with amazingness), don’t ignore that.
  3. You’re super turned off. Not all great matches start with fireworks from the first second, but you shouldn’t be having a hard time listening to him because you’re so freaked out by his physical presence.
  4. You catch him in a lie. Lies aren’t usually uncovered on a first date, but if they do that’s a huge red flag. Even just suspecting that someone is lying can be a red flag because you don’t usually jump to that conclusion unless you have a reason.
  5. You’re not excited for his post-date text. If you’re interested in hearing from him, then you’re not interested in him. You don’t need to date just to date or because you feel like you owe it to a guy.
  6. Temper, rudeness, misogyny, or intolerance make an appearance. Guys are usually on their best behavior on dates so if he’s already barking at the bartender and talking crap about other girls in the bar, run.
  7. He makes you feel bad. Yeah, we’re all entitled to our opinions, and people should be able to accept them or at least consider them without totally shutting you down. You don’t need to accept a second date from a guy who thinks your lifelong dream of starting a greeting card company is silly.
  8. His mentions his nuts ex. Nope. First dates really aren’t the place for ex talk anyway, but talking poorly about an ex on a first date is just extremely poor form… and a sign he might do the same to you.
  9. He didn’t try to get to know you. The most amazing man in the world is not worth a second date if he didn’t ask you anything about yourself. He knows he’s amazing and wasn’t interested in finding out if you were, too.
  10. He doesn’t look at you. There’s a reason why it feels weird when people won’t look you in the eye, it’s because they’re either hiding something or there’s something strange going on with them. What’s this guy even here for?
  11. He assumes things went really well when they totally didn’t. If he spent the whole date on his phone while you made origami out of your napkin and then just assumes an end of the night kiss or second date is still on… please.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com