When things are going well in your relationship, it’s natural to second-guess things. We’re only human, after all. But if your relationship feels like it’s too good to be true, it might be more than just your latent dating paranoia creeping up and your doubt may actually have some merit. Here are some ways to tell the difference and what to consider when it just feels like your relationship is too good to be true:
- Whether you have a history of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is this evil thing we do to keep ourselves from being happy and successful when we don’t feel like we deserve it for some reason. Assuming a relationship is flawed when it isn’t is a great way to do it, because the more you look for trouble, the more likely you are to find some… even if you’re the one who’s causing it.
- Whether this guy has a history. If you feel like something is a little off with his seemingly good behavior and then find out that the guy has a strong history of cheating (or worse), than you might be picking up on something.
- When he has no history. Everyone has a story or two somewhere in their past, but when people don’t seem to have any ties to their history, it can seem a little fishy. He doesn’t need to have weird tales or anything, but you should be able to get a feel for the good and the challenging things that he’s gone through to become who he is today.
- Whether he has a backbone. If your relationship feels too good to be true because this guy is always agreeable and has never questioned any of your decisions, you might start to wonder if he even has any opinions of his own. Getting along is great, but you shouldn’t be able to walk all over him.
- Why he’s making you promises you didn’t ask for. This guy is basically mapping out your future and mentioning nuts plans that sound fun… but also seem to be jumping the gun a bit. You love a good plan, but it seems a little strange that he already knows he wants to have four of your children and raise them in France. He might be a serial monogamist, which often means rushing in (and the subsequent crashing and burning).
- If he’s being authentic. Sometimes when we’re suspicious of people, it’s because they aren’t acting from their most authentic self, even if they’re not actually doing anything “bad.” Maybe he’s a people pleaser or maybe he’s trying to cover something up.
- Why he wants to spend all his time with you. He hasn’t left your side since you met, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s a little strange. Because… just what exactly was he doing before he inserted himself so completely into your life?
- Why he seems so perfect. A lot of people are charming… but not all the time. This guy seemed to be the exact thing you were looking for to boost your spirits following a breakup, but so much so that it almost seems a little too unbelievable. It’s like he hopped out of one of your daydreams or something.
While it’s important to be realistic in your relationships, it’s just as important that you don’t create problems that don’t exist. Try to be open and keep your eyes open, and things just might work out.